


Of Werewolves and Wastelands

by mallaidh



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, M/M, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Were-Creatures, werewolf!eren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-23 13:28:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13788711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mallaidh/pseuds/mallaidh
Summary: (repost)Tales were told of a being who lived under the mountain, a being neither man nor beast. It was said that if you had the funds, you could buy anything you might desire from this creature. But, as it was also said, it was best not to.In which Eren wishes for a cure for his lycanthropy, and Levi is his last chance of finding that cure





	1. Meeting under the Mountain

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys! it's possible this may seem familiar because i actually posted this way back in like 2015 and then orphaned it last year, but i'm now naturally full of regret for having done that so i'm posting it again because i'd like to have my stories in the one place. I might post my other orphaned stories too, but i'm not quite sure yet!
> 
> This particular story is based of a short story called _In the Lost Lands_ by George RR. Martin!

Tales were told of a being who lived under the mountain, a being neither man nor beast. It was said that if you had the funds, you could buy anything you might desire from him. But, as it was also said, it was best not to. This creature always delivered what was asked for, but somehow those who dealt with him were never happy with the things he had brought, the things they had once wanted.

Eren had considered this, of course, before making his decision. His friends had pestered him, questioning his decision and fretting, but his mind had been made up and there was nothing they could have said that would change it. As it was, Eren had decided that he could deal with any unfortunate side-effects that may come from his purchase.

The entrance to the creature's home was built into the side of the mountain, although the cave itself was deep underground. It was not designed to be easy to get to, as Eren found out the hard way; his hands and knees were scraped and raw, and he was bleeding heavily from a gash in his shin that he had gotten when he tripped over a large rock on his way down the dark mountain passage. It didn't matter much though; they were healing already.

 _It's worth it_ , he told himself, pushing himself onwards despite the dark ball of anxiety in his stomach. The tunnel-like passage was beginning to widen, and the downwards slope began to even out into flat ground again. Every so often he stepped on something that made a _crunch_ , and he tried to shake off the feeling that he was crushing bones beneath his feet. After what felt like hours of navigating the dark, damp tunnels beneath the mountain, Eren emerged into what appeared to be a large cavern. The natural stone ceiling was high, high above his head, and it was far drier than Eren had expected given the dampness of the tunnels. The light surprised him too; natural sunlight filtered in through what seemed like a series of slits that seemed to function like teeny windows around the hall-like cave. Eren's breathing was loud and harsh in the cold silence that permeated the space, and he cringed slightly at the noise.

The being he had come to see was seated in a highbacked chair, almost like a throne, at the rear of the large cavern. The size of the chair made him look even smaller than he already was, although as Eren got closer his attention was drawn away from the creature's size by his looks; pale, creamy skin that looked like it had never seen the light of day, and strong cheekbones like slashes in his face. His raven black hair was shaved at the back and sides but grew long in the front and fell around his face, although it didn't obscure his eyes - eyes as grey as the stone the cavern was carved out of, which were currently piercing Eren like tiny shards of ice as he made his way closer.

"L-Levi?" Eren came to a stop a few metres away from the throne and the beautiful being that sat upon it. Much to his chagrin, his voice was shaky and unsteady, betraying his nerves. He kept his gaze down, too anxious to raise his head as he tried again. "Um, my name is Eren Jaeger. I've come here because- well, I was hoping you could help me."

A single black brow rose high on that sinfully beautiful face as Levi tipped his head to the side. "I don't do favours." His voice was like a biting wind, and he watched as Eren shivered. Though his tone was sharp and clear, his expression hadn't changed.

"I-I know that," Eren stammered. His throat had become almost painfully dry, and it felt as though his words were sticking in his throat - why hadn't anyone ever spoken about the _beauty_ of the one who sold people their desires? When people were telling stories of how they had traded jewels for piles of gold bigger than their heads, or pretty wives and husbands, or for a new house, or a long-awaited child, had no one thought to add in the little detail that the one selling these things was so gorgeous that he seemed ethereal, like the light of the moon was shining through the pores of his skin? He wasn't prepared, didn't know what to do in the face of a being so perfect it looked like they had been handcrafted by the gods.

Levi rolled his pretty eyes _(pretty seemed like such an inadequate word, but Eren's thought processes seemed to have frozen and he wasn't sure he could ever come up with a word for how beautiful they were anyway)_ up towards the ceiling, before redirecting his gaze to Eren. He was lounging in the high backed chair with one leg drawn up to his chest; he was wearing a fine shirt of silk, with dark trousers. A single ring adorned the middle of each one of his fingers, every one set with a long, curving claw instead of a jewel. They shone dimly and menacingly in the light that floated in through the cracks. Almost absently, he had pulled one off his right index finger and began to fidget with it. They were for protection, Eren realised, in case a deal went bad. He wondered if many deals went bad, and how often Levi might have to use those deadly claws.

It took far too long for Eren to realise that Levi was awaiting an answer, and when he did he flushed bright red and began to stammer again. "I-I'm sorry, it's just- I mean, I have payment!"

"Do you?" Though his expression hadn't changed, Levi's voice sounded quite bored. "And what kind of payment have you brought me, Eren Jaeger?"

Maybe Eren liked the way that this creature said his name, so softly and dangerously with that cold, clear voice a bit more than was perhaps appropriate given the situation. He struggled to focus on the task at hand. "I brought jewels."

Levi watched in silence as said jewels were fished out of the boy's pocket and handed over in a cloth pouch. He remained silent as he removed the contents of the pouch and held them in his hands, examining them closely. It wasn't much; a few sapphires, a ruby, and a pretty onyx rock that shimmered when the light hit it. It may have been a trivial amount to Levi, but it had been more wealth than Eren had ever cared to have in his life, and he had worked hard to obtain it. Finally, the scrutiny of the jewels completed, Levi lowered the rocks to his lap and spoke. "What is it that you wish to buy?"

"Um.." Eren began fidgeting with the fraying edges of his shirt. "I.. I wanted to know if there was a way.. Well, um.."

"Spit it out, brat." Levi sighed through his nose and tipped his head back to rest against the chair, "I don't have all day."

"Right." Slightly flustered by the sudden view of creamy neck, Eren fixed his gaze on his feet. They were bare and dirty, and he stared at them as he spoke. "I wanted to know if there was a cure for lycanthropy."

The words rang in the silence, until the dead air seemed to swallow them up. It was quiet for so long that Eren began to wonder if he had actually said those words at all. He eventually chanced a peek through his lashes to see what Levi was doing, and was startled to find himself under an intense grey gaze.

"I see," Levi spoke at last. His voice was slow and smooth, although his eyes were practically cutting into the boy in front of him. "For yourself, I presume?"

Eren nodded silently; he didn't trust his own voice.

"Hm." Turning his head, Levi began to stare at the wall opposite him. His profile was thrown into sharp relief, and nearly took Eren's breath away. "Have you been a lycan all your life?"

"No, sir." Eren said quietly, scratching his elbow nervously. "Almost a year."

"Do you know who changed you?"

Eren shook his head jerkily.

"Tell me how it happened."

He had been ready to protest, to refuse. It wasn't a story he particularly enjoyed recounting. But Levi was leaning forward in that big chair of his, dark hair falling into his bright eyes, and Eren found himself hard-pressed to deny the beautiful creature before him. "It was the day after my eighteenth birthday, and my dad decided to take me hunting. He had bought me a dagger, and wanted to see me use it. So we went to the forest to the south of the town, and travelled into it for almost half a day. We must've been pretty close to the middle of it when we heard.. something howling. I got kinda nervous, started asking my dad if we could go. He said.." Eren laughed a little bitterly, before shrugging a shoulder, "He said we could go once I'd caught something for dinner. Made a huge big deal outta my _'first kill'_. Well.. I can't really remember what happened next, to be honest. It happened so fast. I just remember hearing something behind me, and then there was pain so bad I was absolutely positive I was going to die. There was blood everywhere and-" Eren forced himself to stop talking. He had to take a moment to calm his breathing and unclench his fists. "They say that you refuse no one, when they ask something of you."

"That is what they say," Levi acknowledged. Throughout the entire recounting of the tale, his expression had remained cool and unchanging, and it remained so now. "How come you didn't seek me out sooner, if you were so unwilling to be what you have become?"

"I thought I could control it, I guess," Eren's shoulders had slumped, and he gave a heartless half shrug.

"What changed?"

"I nearly killed my sister," the words were quiet and so filled with selfloathing that Levi was almost taken aback by how serious the young man had become.

"I see."

"So.. Do you think you can do it?" Eren asked hopefully, before quailing under the withering look he received.

"Of course I can, stupid boy," Levi said sharply, standing from his chair and striding over to stand in front of his new customer. Their height difference became startlingly obvious, and Eren blinked a bit in surprise when he realised that the top of Levi's head only reached his chin. "I refuse no one. Come back tomorrow."

Eren blinked again, before nodding energetically. "Okay! Yeah, I can do that!"

Without another word, Levi turned and strode away. Eren found his eyes trailing after him, before he remembered himself and shouted a quick 'thank you!' after him.


	2. Meeting with Friends

Mikasa was not happy with him.

Well, that was a mild understatement. She was _livid._

"How could you have been so thick-headed as to go through with that _stupid plan?_ " She never raised her voice, but her quiet fury was even scarier that any loud raging could ever be.

Eren had tried to explain how he had little other choice, how there was no other way to cure his nasty little habit of turning into a bloodthirsty beast every full moon, but his weak explanations fell on deaf ears.

"You _know_ his reputation! You _know_ that people are never happy with what he delivers! He brings curses disguised as blessings!"

"I had no other choice!" Eren finally shouted back, unwilling to hear anymore. "No cure for lycanthropy _exists_ , Mikasa! But he can get me one, it's what he does!"

"What he _does_ is destroy lives, Eren!"

Armin, who had been sitting silently in the corner until this point, finally spoke. "What did he say?"

"What?" Both Eren and Mikasa paused in the middle of their furious stare-off to glance at their smaller friend.

"Well, did he say he'd do it?"

"Yeah," Eren took a step back and sank into the ancient armchair in the corner of the sitting room. Their house was tiny, with barely three rooms and not much furniture. Eren's mother had tried her best to make the tiny place feel like a home after his dad had left, but it hadn't been the same after she had died. "He said he refused no one."

Armin nodded thoughtfully from his perch on the arm of the equally ancient sofa. "What else did he say?"

"Um," Eren scrunched up his face in thought. "He asked me about the day I was bitten. And he.. told me to come back tomorrow."

"I'm going with you." Mikasa said immediately.

Before Eren could open his mouth to protest, Armin piped up, "Me too! I have to say, I'm curious. There are so many rumours and legends about this guy. Other than the obvious ones about him selling strange and wonderful things, they also say he has powers. They say he knows the secrets of shape shifting, and-"

"I will destroy him if he tries anything shifty." Mikasa vowed gravely, twisting her hands in her red scarf.  
Sighing, Eren threw his head back to rest against the back of the armchair. His friends were as stubborn as he was; there was no point in arguing.

"Whatever," Eren stood from the armchair and stretched his arms over his head, "I'm going to bed now. Armin, you're welcome to stay over."

 _It's going to be an interesting day tomorrow,_ he thought grimly.

* * *

Somehow, their group of three had expanded into a group of seven.

Eren was still seething as he led the way through the mountain passage towards Levi's dwelling. "Was it really necessary to tell them where we were going?" He hissed at Armin.

The blond boy looked faintly guilty as he shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry, I didn't know it was a secret." They had passed their friends as they had been making their way through town towards Levi's mountain. Armin had trustfully divulged where they were headed, whereupon their group of friends had pointblank insisted on tagging along. Now, Connie and Sasha were arguing over the merits of boiled potatoes over steamed potatoes, Marco was carrying quite a one-sided conversation with Mikasa, and Jean was pissing Eren off with his stupid horsey sneer.

"Are we nearly there?" Whined Sasha, tripping over something and catching herself just in time. "I'm hungry- was that a _skull?_ "

Eren decided that it was probably best not to check. "A few more minutes." He said bluntly, noticing that the passage was beginning to widen. They trudged the last bit of the journey in silence (semi-silence, anyway, as Sasha and Connie kept up a whispered conversation comprised almost entirely of dirty jokes).

Eren was the first to emerge out of the tunnel and into the large cavern. He cast his eyes about briefly, but Levi was not present on his throne-like chair. His absence made Eren pause, consequently causing the rest of the group to run into him. There was real silence now; even Connie and Sasha seemed to have been struck dumb by the sheer size of the cavern.

"Jaeger."

The entire group turned in unison to face the direction the voice had come from. Levi stood in the entranceway of another passage to the left of his chair, staring at them with a raised brow. Clearing his throat, Eren stepped forwards. He was slightly more prepared for the intense gaze he was levelled with, but he still found that it became a bit hard to breathe. "Um.. Hi."

 _Damn it_ , why was that the only thing he could think of to say?

It didn't seem to matter much anyway; Levi paid no notice to the weak greeting, instead narrowing his eyes at the small group behind Eren. "Did you bring the entire fucking village?"

Hearing profanities spoken in that otherworldly voice was startling, but also strangely visceral and raw. Eren felt like maybe he should slap himself to try and regain his sense. "Ah.. sorry. These are my friends. And my sister."

That, at least, caused a small spark of interest in the dealer's otherwise cold and bored eyes. "Oh? The one you tried to kill?"

"Yeah," Eren muttered, scratching his elbow.

"It wasn't his fault," Mikasa said softly, though her voice carried through the large cavern and left no room for arguments, "He wasn't in control."

"I never said it was his fault." Levi replied calmly as he settled gracefully onto his huge chair. "A lycan is rarely in control of himself during a change. But control can be achieved."

"Can I be cured though?" Eren asked eagerly, closing the distance between the entrance to the cavern and Levi's chair. He paid no attention to the small sounds of protest from his friends as he moved away from them and closer to the creature they had been warned against in bedtime stories. "Completely?"

It was difficult not to squirm under those piercing grey eyes, but Eren tried his best. Eventually, Levi scratched his chin thoughtfully and hummed; he was still wearing those curious clawed rings. "I sent out inquiries in my usual manner, and-"

"What's your usual manner?" This interruption had come, much to everyone's surprise, from Armin. He flushed when he realised that he was now the subject of attention.

A muscle in Levi's jaw jumped, but his voice was calm and steady when he spoke again, "Ways only I know. I sent my message through the shadows, through the alleys and sewers and even to the big houses of the rich in the interior of your little village. It drifted to the army outposts in the south, over and through rivers, to other towns beside other mountains just like this one, where people like me heard it and sent out their own inquiries. Even to the Wastelands, word travelled."

Armin's eyes were huge, and it was clear as day that he wanted to learn more about the strange and wonderful ways of the magic that this being worked, but he held his tongue and said no more. It did not appear as though Levi would be willing to indulge any further information anyway.

"And what did you find?" It was Mikasa who spoke up this time, her voice as cold and unimpressed as the being she was addressing.

"A woman." Levi said simply, tapping his silver claws on the arm of his chair. "She says she has the answer."

The spark of hope that had been housed in Eren's chest since his previous meeting with Levi blossomed into a flame. "She does? Where is she? Will she cure me?"

"How do we know we can trust her?" It was Jean now, his voice arrogant and assuming, but there was an undercurrent of fear to it. No one but Eren had moved out of the safety of the entranceway.

"You don't."

"Is it worth it?" Marco's whisper was likely only meant for Jean, but it carried throughout the cavern.

"That is not for me to decide. I was paid to find a cure for lycanthropy. I found someone who knows." His steely eyes locked with Eren's warm green ones, "If you decide you wish to meet her, then I will take you to her. If you decide that it's not worth it, then you may leave."

"Eren.." Mikasa's voice was quiet and cautioning. She said no more.

He knew she was trying to warn him to think it through, to be sensible with his decision. But what did he have to lose? "I'll meet with her."

Levi nodded slowly. His clawed rings ceased tapping. "Then I will take you to her. But not today."

"Why not today?" Eren argued, and instantly regretted it when that intense gaze grew colder.

"Because you are not prepared for the journey." Levi said shortly, glaring at Eren and his friends. "She wishes to take you to the Wastelands."

"Hang on," Mikasa's voice was as sharp as a knife, "You said nothing about travelling to the Wastelands."

"I said it just now."

Armin jumped in before Mikasa could fly up to Levi and beat him with his oversized chair. "Sir, why the Wastelands? It's just.. it's a very dangerous place."

"I'm aware of what kind of place it is. It is where she says the cure is."

Swallowing nervously, Eren glanced back at his friends. He knew that Mikasa would follow him to the Wastelands without a second thought, and Armin too. The others might want to be safe and go home, but they were always surprising him. Eren knew that he couldn't let them go, he couldn't let them get hurt.

"Stop it, Jaeger." Jean snapped, glaring at him from the entranceway. "You're not gonna ditch us."

"I didn't ask for you to come with me, asshole!"

"No, but we're here now! If you think we're gonna let you take all the glory of seeing the Wastelands, you're mistaken!"

"There is no glory in the Wastelands." Levi intoned, but he was largely ignored by the bickering boys.

"You're too scared to even step inside the cave!"

Jean took a single step out of the entranceway. "There, happy?"

" _One_ step-!"

"Enough." The word wasn't shouted or snapped. It was said coolly, calmly. It was said in a way that implied the owner of said voice was used to being obeyed without question, and it caused all heads to swivel and stare at Levi. "I don't care who comes. Whoever shows up here at sunrise tomorrow is who I will lead to the Wastelands."

"You're coming with us?" Eren asked in surprise. This hadn't occurred to him for some reason; he had assumed that they would meet with this woman and that would be the last he would see of Levi.

"Yes." was all the being said.

This didn't bother Eren at all but the same could not be said for his friends, who began to exchange uneasy looks. "So, uh.. Tomorrow at sunrise."

"Yes. You may leave me now." Levi sighed, reclining back into his massive chair. Had it been anyone else, it would have been comical how the chair dwarfed him. As it was, Levi wasn't the sort one laughed at.

Nodding, Eren began his retreat back towards his friends. He paused when he was halfway there, and glanced back. "What's her name?"

"I didn't care to ask."

"Oh." Eren went to move again, only to stop and say "Thank you." Levi gave no reply, and so Eren scurried out of the cave and towards his friends. As soon as he reached them, they turned on their heels and fled.

It was dangerous, running headlong through the passages in the pitch-blackness that surrounded them, but a fearful panic had wrapped itself around the group of friends, and they hurtled up the passage anyway.

"He's so creepy!" Connie yelled through gasps as he ran.

"That cavern was awful, it felt dead inside!" Sasha cried in reply, keeping up pace with Jean almost effortlessly.

Eren said nothing, focusing on his running. He forgot himself occasionally and shot forwards, only to slow and wait for his friends to catch up. It was at times like these that he was forcibly reminded of the fact that he was not human, not like his friends. His speed and strength set him apart, as did his dangerous temper and heightened senses. _At least I'll be cured soon,_ he thought.

They all burst out of the tunnel and onto the side of the mountain, throwing up their hands to shield their eyes from the sudden sunlight.

Eren hissed as the bright light hit his sensitive eyes, and turned away. He squinted instead at his friends; Connie and Sasha had fallen to the ground, heaving from the strain of the run. Marco was leaning against the entrance to the passage, breathing heavily. Jean was in a similar position, and Armin had seated himself on the ground and was struggling to get his breath back. Mikasa seemed the least affected, although even her chest was rising and falling more rapidly than usual.

"You don't have to come with me tomorrow, you know." The words had slipped out of Eren's mouth before he could stop himself. He figured he may as well continue, now that he had accidentally started; he had a great speech planned out, about how he couldn't stand for them putting themselves in danger because of him, he couldn't guarantee their safety, the Wastelands were filled with perils that weren't even _known_ to them-

"Shut up, Eren. We're coming and it's our own choice, so you can't say shit."

Eren shut his mouth and saved his speech for another day.


	3. Annie

Annie Leonhardt was not what Eren had expected; she was small, even shorter than Levi, with light blonde hair pulled into a tight ponytail and stony grey eyes. Her nose was long and straight and her skin was tanned, as was common in the villages surrounding the mountains - the tan was synonymous with plenty of time spent outdoors. Her clothes were old and worn, but they were clean - they looked like old hunting clothes.  
Honestly, Eren couldn't quite say what he had been expecting - perhaps someone as pale and terrible as Levi, ready to lead them to the doomed lands.

"Are you ready to leave?" Annie's voice had little inflection, but it was clear that she expected an answer.

"Yeah, I think so." Eren glanced behind him at his friends. They stood on the side of the mountain, just outside the entrance to the mountain passage. They had their bags packed, as light as they could manage, and were ready to get going.

"When I said that I didn't care who came, I still didn't expect you to bring the whole fucking lot of them." Levi grumbled. Even his grumbles sounded otherworldly. "Stop staring at me, you shit."

Flushing, Eren tore his gaze away from the well-structured face he had been admiring and looked back to Annie. The girl was staring back at him, and didn't look away when she found him returning her gaze. "So, um.."

"Why do you want to be cured?" She spoke over him, eyes flinty and hard.

"Uh.. because I don't want to be a werewolf..?"

She observed him silently, and said no more.

* * *

The mountain pass was narrow and rocky, and barely wide enough for Levi's wagon to fit through. The wagon was large and awkward for a journey such as this, but Levi had insisted upon its use. It was large enough for everyone to squeeze into it, but it was slightly cramped. It was drawn by two horses twice the size of normal beasts that snorted and stamped if anyone but Levi came too close, so he sat at the front of the wagon to keep them calm. Having declined the ride and having no horse of her own, Annie walked alongside the wagon.

It took most of the day to reach the top of the mountain, where the air was thin and cold. From there, there was a cleft in the rocks, and the wide expanse of the barren Wastelands came into view. The land below them was grey and dull, and there was no life in sight.

"It will take us another day and a half to descend the mountain into the Wastelands." Annie spoke up. The others were staring at the Wastelands with wide eyes and open mouths, having never seen such a huge plain of land before - except Levi, who looked quite indifferent. "We will go faster when we reach the bottom; the land is flat and empty."

When no one replied, she nodded to herself and began to walk again. The horses followed at Levi's gentle urging, and the wagon began to trundle forwards once more. The decline was steep, and the going was slow. They were barely a quarter of the way down when Levi called them to a halt, "We will rest here, and continue tomorrow."

Exhausted, no one protested. Though most of the journey had passed in the wagon, the stress of leaving the village and the thought of the Wastelands had put a strain on all the young travellers. Levi pulled blankets out of some unseen nook in the wagon and distributed them to everyone. Everyone but Annie, it seemed, although she didn't appear to care.

The moon hung bright in the sky, casting a cold light on everything around them; it was not yet full, but would be in perhaps a week. Eren prayed that they would begin to make better time - it felt like the moon was taunting him as it floated in the inky sky, with infinite stars for companions. Sighing, Eren turned away from the night sky. Someone had lit a fire, and his friends were sitting around it and laughing. Their tiredness seemed to have been washed away by the balm of warmth and light the fire provided, although the odd dropping eyelid could be spotted amongst the good spirits.

Levi was not sitting with the group; he tended to his horses by his wagon. The beasts snorted and stamped as Eren approached, and he eyed them nervously and stopped a few feet away. Their master still hadn't looked up, too busy focusing on removing their bridles and tack. He didn't appear to even have noticed Eren standing there-

"What do you want?"

Or maybe he had. Eren fidgeted with his fingers and shrugged. "How did you know I was here?"

"I could smell you." Levi set the tack down by the wagon and gave the horses one last pat before turning to face Eren. "You smell like dog."

"Oh." He had never been told that he smelled like dog before.

"Get some sleep. The journey tomorrow will be hard."

"I can handle it."

Were his eyes deceiving him, or had the edges of Levi's lips just quirked up in a tiny smile? "I'm sure you can."

Eren didn't reply, content to just stare. It was probably a bit creepy, but Levi looked so beautiful in the firelight; his pale skin was lit up with a warm glow, and his features didn't seem so sharp and angry. The jewels he wore around his neck glittered prettily, just like his eyes.

"Kid. Stop staring."

"Sorry," Eren jerked a bit, and promptly transferred his gaze to his feet.

Rolling his eyes, Levi stepped forward and pushed Eren towards his friends. "Go get some sleep. Tell your imbecile friends to do the same."

"Right!" He had only gone a few steps before he turned back, blinking his wide green eyes with a guileless smile, "Goodnight, Levi." He didn't get a reply, but that was fine. He sat down with Mikasa and Armin, still smiling faintly.

The others had groaned when Eren had relayed the order to go to sleep, but had made no further complaint. Mikasa was still casting her eyes around the place even as she lay down next to Eren and Armin.

"What's wrong?" Armin had whispered, his hair falling around his face.

"Have either of you seen Annie since we made camp?" She asked, pulling her blanket up around her shoulders.

"No. Why?" Eren mumbled, already half-asleep.

If Mikasa gave an answer, he didn't hear it. Sleep had already swept over him.

* * *

The sun was dawning bright and early, and Annie had arrived back before everyone had awoken. She brought with her three dead rabbits and some berries.

"Breakfast." she said by way of greeting.

Sasha had almost sobbed with relief, and set about skinning and roasting them faster than the rest of the camp could wake up. The smell of cooking meat enticed everyone else out of their slumber, and they were delighted to find food awaiting them.

After they had eaten, Levi had wasted no time in gathering and preparing the horses to leave again. The sky was still blood red from the sunrise when they set off, the wagon unsteady on the rocky road down the mountain. Eren had begun to feel restless, and so declined to sit in the wagon. He felt it better to work off his restless energy by walking.

The uneven path of the mountain didn't bother him, the stones didn't cut his toughened feet. He walked alongside Annie, although neither of them said much. She was curious company to keep, really. She kept up a stoic silence, and seemed to walk without needing to look at where she was going; as though she knew the steps she would take in advance, as if she had walked this mountain pass hundreds of times before.

"How do you come to know of the cure for lycanthropy when no one before you did?" Eren finally asked when the sun was high in the sky, signalling midday. The question had been eating at him for a while now.

"My father told me much about lycanthropy." She had replied, and left it at that. She hadn't told him what the cure actually _was_ , which made Eren slightly uneasy. But Annie seemed like the type who played things close to her chest, so Eren tried to brush it off as simply not wishing to disclose her secrets unless she had to. He _needed_ that cure.

It was getting close to evening when Annie spoke again; even though they had walked the perilous decline down the mountain (occasionally having cut their way through a thicket of brambles, or help the wagon cross a stream), they were yet to tire. Eren knew his own stamina and strength levels were simply thanks to the fact that he was not altogether human, but he couldn't help marvel at Annie's own stamina.

"Why do you wish to be cured?"

The sun was dying in the sky, turning everything orangey red. Eren watched it slip behind a purple cloud as he spoke. "You asked me that yesterday."

"I was hoping for a real answer this time."

He shrugged jerkily. "They call it a curse for a reason, right? I hate the feeling of not being in control, and when I change that's exactly what happens. I'm not in control. I mean-" he took a deep breath and glanced at the wagon, "I tried to _kill_ my sister."

Annie's eyes had followed his, and she stared at the back of Mikasa's head for a while. "Hm." She said at last, "The only people who call lycanthropy a curse are those who don't have it."

A loud whoop rent the air before Eren could reply, and they both turned to see Connie jump out of the wagon with his arms in the air. Eren was confused for a moment, until he realised that he was walking on flat and even ground - they had reached the bottom of the mountain, and he hadn't even noticed. He turned to Annie again, only to find her sharp eyes already on him.

"Rest tonight. Tomorrow, our journey really begins." She said bluntly, before turning on her heel and walking away.

Eren trudged over to the wagon, where Mikasa and Armin had jumped out and were stretching. "So.." He began slowly, still frowning after Annie's retreating figure. "What do you think?"

"Of Annie?" Mikasa guessed, her eyes trailing after the girl too. "Hm. I'm not sure."

"And the cure?" Eren tried not to sound too desperate (something he didn't succeed at, judging by the sympathetic look in Armin's eyes), "What do you think of it?"

"We don't even know what the cure _is_ , Eren." said Armin, brushing his overgrown fringe out of his eyes. "I can't say for definite that it does or doesn't exist."

It was obvious that neither of them were speaking their true minds, perhaps afraid of hurting Eren's feelings. Their doubt and mistrust hung in the air, and he knew that their trip had been far from productive so far. "I'm sure we'll find out more when we get to the Wastelands." He said stubbornly. Armin and Mikasa nodded, but not without a glance at each other when Eren wasn't looking. It was going to be a long journey.


	4. The Wastelands

True to their name, the Wastelands truly were a sad and desolate place; the land seemed to stretch for untold miles in every direction, with no sign of life anywhere. The earth was an unhealthy grey, and the colour seemed to have been leeched out of the sky. No plants grew, although occasionally the group would pass a grove of twisted trees, blacker than sin and curled up towards the dirt as though in pain.

No one spoke as they travelled over the cold and empty land. The Wastelands did not invoke a conversational atmosphere. The first night they camped, they had all huddled close around the fire as the winds whipped and howled and screamed all around them. Connie had looked as though he were about to burst into tears, but Marco had comforted him until the shorter boy's jaw had clenched in a show of faux bravery. The sleep they had that night was fitful and uneasy.

Dawn in the Wastelands was not the bright and colourful event it usually was; the sun rose a milky colour, without the usual stretches of beautiful oranges and pinks. It was like the Wastelands had sucked the beauty out of its surroundings. Annie had disappeared in the night again, and returned at sunrise with a deer that appeared strangely deformed. "We'll have to make this last." She said, and gestured at the remaining rabbit they had left as well. "There will be no hunting now that we're in the Wastelands."

As they travelled over the desolate and desperate land, Eren wondered if his friends regretted coming. He felt guilty, though he knew it was their own choice to come with him - how could any of them have known that this would be the reality? Mikasa had sat with him in the wagon on their first day of travel through the Wastelands. She hadn't said anything, but her calm presence had soothed his nerves significantly. Armin had spent the first couple of hours staring wide-eyed at everything around him and excitedly telling his friends about the things he had read about the Wastelands. On their second day, he sat in the wagon and stared listlessly at the never-changing scenery without speaking a word. Jean and Marco chatted quietly and occasionally, although no topic of conversation lasted long before dying out.

Eren was walking by the wagon when they happened upon the remains of an old house. He had wandered towards it to explore, curious at the thought of someone actually inhabiting the empty land, but there wasn't much left. There was little that remained of the building, nothing to disturb the sweeping emptiness of the land. The walls left standing were barely up to his waist, and it took quite a bit of effort to discern simple things, like where the chimney stack may once have been. There were no books, no blades, no pottery. There was nothing to suggest that someone may have once lived there.

"Not even bones."

Eren jumped in surprise, not having heard anyone follow him. He turned, and met Levi's gaze. "What?"

The strange being was standing in the jagged remains of what was perhaps a kitchen, looking around the broken ruins of the home too, his hair and travelling cloak blowing in the wind. "There are not even any bones to suggest of the people who may have lived here. If people they were at all." He shrugged a shoulder delicately, before meeting Eren's eyes. "You shouldn't wander off, shithead. Not here."

"Sorry," it was difficult not to get caught up in Levi's beautiful grey eyes, in the way that the being stared so intensely and the way his pale skin almost glowed despite the harsh conditions of their surroundings. "It's just.. there wasn't much else to do."

"The Wastelands suck away life and blow away the memories," Levi said bluntly. He didn't protest when Eren stepped closer to him, "The only thing left are the ghosts."

"Ghosts?" Eren sounded startled, and he glanced around as though afraid a spirit was about to launch a sneak attack from behind.

One of those maddening almost-smiles quirked at the corners of Levi's mouth. "Ghosts are the least of your worries in the Wastelands, Eren. There's far worse out here."

"Like what?"

The almost-smile had slid off Levi's face like cool water, and he said "It doesn't matter. Now come on, the wagon will have gotten ahead of us."

They left the ruins together, and saw that sure enough the wagon was ahead of them. It was difficult to measure distance thanks to the seemingly unending stretch of land in every direction, but Eren didn't think it had gotten too far. They walked side by side at a leisurely pace to catch up with it. Neither spoke for a while, until Eren said, "Do you think we should trust Annie?"

"I trust no one."

Unsure how to reply to this, Eren remained silent. He decided that maybe he should trust no one too. That probably wouldn't work, however, as he was entirely too trusting a person. He trusted his friends, and he even trusted Levi - he wasn't quite sure what the basis of this trust was, though.

Their walk was slow-paced, and they eventually caught up with the wagon as the sun was beginning to set. "We will camp here." Levi said calmly.

"Wouldn't we be better off to keep going?" Jean demanded, stepping off the wagon. "We're never going to get anywhere if we just stop as soon as the sun starts to dip."

Though it was Levi who opened his mouth to reply, it was Annie who answered; she stepped around the other side of the wagon and locked her sullen stare on Jean as she spoke, "Travelling at night in the Wastelands is an invitation for death."

Everyone was quiet for a while after that, content to build a fire and roast their remaining rabbit. Sasha had wanted to dig into the deer, but had been held back by Connie. She was staring sulkily at her tiny portion of rabbit now as they all ate around the warmth of the hearth. The winds that came during the night were already beginning to stir, and the group of friends huddled closer to each other.

Annie had finished off her measly portion of rabbit and had begun staring into the fire. After an untold length of time, she lifted her head and focused her cold gaze on Levi. "It is said that you came from the Wastelands, a long time ago."

Everyone paused in their small conversations, and Sasha froze with Armin's leftover rabbit halfway to her mouth. Only Levi seemed unaffected by the question; he nibbled delicately at his portion of meat, expertly preventing the juice from dribbling on his hands or face. "It is said." He acknowledged. "You come here often."

"I hunt."

They observed each other coldly, until Armin spoke up. His voice was soft, but it trembled slightly. "Does anything live here? Amongst all this desolation.. is there _anything_?"

"There is life." said Annie, looking away from Levi and back towards the fire. "You must know the Wastelands in order to find it, but there is life. Strange, twisted beasts never written about in your storybooks, things straight out of nightmares and fevers. Humans, too - or at least, things that were once human. Werefolk and accursed souls, grey shapes that walk only in the blue hours between night and dawn, things that are half-living and half-dream-"

"Enough." Levi spoke softly, but the look he levelled her with could have carved stone. "You will scare them."

"If they scare so easily, they should not have made the journey." She said, but she ceased talking anyway.

The fire crackled and spat sparks, and it seemed so loud in the ensuing silence. Even the wind seemed to pause its merciless screaming. Armin had grown pale, and although his eyes shone with the new knowledge, there was fear there too. Connie looked as though he were about to cry again, and Sasha almost looked as though she had lost her appetite - but then she popped the remaining morsel of meat in her mouth anyway. Jean and Marco were silent.

Mikasa was silent too, but her silence didn't seem to be born out of fear; rather, her silence was assessing as her eyes sized Annie up.

* * *

Eren wasn't sure when they collectively decided to go to sleep, he only knew that he wasn't quite able to. He wasn't the only one who'd had trouble sleeping however; he could tell by the way his friends had thrashed uneasily on the hard-packed grey ground that they were restless too. But sleep had found everyone eventually, everyone except Eren. After a while of tossing and turning, he sat up and rubbed his eyes in frustration. The Wastelands were not a place conducive to a relaxed environment, as he had quickly discovered. He gazed around blearily, and his eyes fell on a dark figure sitting a few yards away, beyond the wagon. He would recognise Levi's form even in blindness, and Eren was momentarily worried about when he had become so familiar with what the strange being's silhouette looked like. He figured it was probably from the constant staring he had done during the previous days of travel. Without much of a thought, he stood and tiptoed around his friends, taking care to avoid stepping on anyone's extremities.

He didn't announce himself when he reached Levi, only sat next to him. He wondered absently if he was pushing his boundaries, but there were no protests so he mimicked Levi as he tilted his head back and gazed at the stars. They were big and bright here in the Wastelands, the one thing that wasn't dulled. It seemed as if they were so close he could reach out and pluck them right out of the sky, like ripened berries. "Did you really come from the Wastelands?"

Silence greeted his question, and stretched for many minutes. Eren didn't apologise or take back the question, only sat patiently and waited for an answer. It came after many minutes, when he had almost resigned himself to the silence. "Yes."

Eren hummed in curiosity, but didn't push him any further on the matter. Instead, he said "Where did Annie go?"

"Where she always goes at night."

"Where's that?"

"No idea."

Eren looked away from the stars then, and gazed at Levi. It was a sight just as bright and beautiful as the night sky; his black hair was loose and blowing lazily despite the howling winds, and his creamy skin was glowing as though he was lit up from within by thousands of burning stars. His unfathomable eyes stared up at the night sky as though he were intimately familiar with each star, like he had stared at the night sky for years before finally looking away. Eren could have stared at him like this forever, but then Levi said, "I've missed the lights."

"The what?" Eren asked, pulled out of his thoughts. His thought process seemed to cease entirely as Levi reached out and caught him by the chin, directing his gaze back up towards the sky. What he saw made his breath catch in his throat - what few clouds there had been in the sky had passed, revealing a view unlike any Eren had ever seen. Lights rippled through the sky, shades of blue and purple and maroon, twisting and darting like bright fish in a huge pond.

"Watch them shimmer and shift," Levi's voice was low, and closer to Eren's ear than he remembered him being. The wish-dealer's breath was warm against his neck. "If you look closely enough, you can see shapes. Men and women and creatures of the Wastelands. Can you see them?"

Eren's eyes were round with wonder as he gazed skywards, caught up with the beauty of the lights. He watched in silence for several longs moments, before eventually whispering a soft "Yes."

Levi leaned back, and Eren tried to ignore the pang he felt at the loss of proximity. A small, satisfied smile was playing around the corners of his thin lips, but it never came fully into fruition. "I had a feeling you would."

"Some don't?"

"Some don't." Levi confirmed, and Eren couldn't help the feeling of pride that swelled in his chest.

"Is what Annie said true?" he asked then, his words quiet. Levi had finally looked away from the lights, and was watching Eren. "About the monsters in the Wastelands."

"They're not monsters."

"Creatures, then."

"She wasn't lying. There are many things in the Wastelands." His voice was soft, and his long fingers played with the jewels around his neck; he wasn't wearing his clawed rings, Eren noticed. His fingers were long and thin, almost delicate-looking."Creatures of thought and blood, ready to rip you apart from the inside. Creatures who feed on the fear and misery of others, creatures who deal in wishes and desires, creatures who have no place in the land of the living."

"I'm not scared."

Levi chuckled softly at the bold tone of voice. "I'm sure you're not, little puppy. This is, after all, where your kind originated from."

"Werewolves aren't my kind."

"They are, whether you like it or not."

"Well, they won't be my kind for much longer."

Levi hummed, and then leaned all the way until he was lying flat and gazing at the stars above him. "I've always admired werefolk."

"You have?" Eren lay back too in a mimicry of Levi's casual sprawl.

"Mhm. Have you ever seen a transformed werewolf?"

"Other than the one that attacked me and nearly killed me, you mean?"

A tiny smirk, "Yes, other than that one."

"No."

"Ah." Levi turned his head, and Eren abruptly found himself gazing into those same narrowed grey eyes he had been thinking about for days. "They're beautiful, you know. All power and raw strength, but still retaining no small amount of grace. And if you're lucky enough to see a werewolf fight.." Another small smile, but like all of Levi's smiles, it never truly blossomed into anything more than a quirk of the lips, "Well, it's truly a display of skill."

"They kill people."

"Yes, some do. Not all - have you ever taken a human life?"

"Of course not! I'm not a murderer!"

"I know you're not, Eren." Though his voice was dispassionate and cool, the sound of him saying Eren's name was enough to cool the young werewolf right down. "I'm merely making my point. Not all werewolves kill people."

Eren said nothing. After a few minutes, he shuffled closer to Levi and buried his face in his arm. He half expected to be pushed away, or for some kind of reprimand, but Levi allowed the contact. After he was sure he wouldn't be told to move, Eren spoke again. "The full moon is in a few days."

"I know."

"Do you think I'll have the cure by then?"

"Perhaps. Even if you don't, I can restrain you."

Had it been anyone else to say that to him, Eren would have doubted. But it was Levi, with his beautiful face and gentle hands and powerful presence. So Eren just nodded. "Okay."

After what seemed like forever they fell asleep under the twinkling sky, with Eren tucked into Levi's side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Don't be afraid to drop a comment telling me what you think, or check  
> out [my tumblr!](https://erenyagers.tumblr.com/)
> 
> i'll hopefully be uploading the rest of the story tomorrow or the next day!


	5. Strain

Morning dawned grey and bleak, and when Eren awoke he was curled up alone on the hard earth. Blinking groggily, he used sleep-numb hands to push himself into a sitting position. He frowned slightly when he realised that Levi had left, before silently berating himself - he could hardly expect a being like Levi to watch over him as he slept. He was a heartless creature, everyone from the village said so - but when Eren thought of the night before, he couldn't bring himself to believe it.

"You're awake." The voice came from behind him, and Eren turned in surprise. A piece of cooked deer was curled in Levi's hand, and he held it out as he sat down beside where Eren was still curled in on himself. "Here, eat this."

Eren found that it was quite impossible to keep the grin off his face as he accepted the piece of meat - Levi hadn't left at all, he was just getting him _breakfast_. It was such an innocuous, domestic act, but it still caused a curl of something warm and sweet in Eren's belly. "Thank you."

Shrugging off the gratitude, Levi just tilted his head to look up at the sky - there wasn't much to look at in the daytime, however, as the dulled rays of the sun mixed with grey clouds to hide everything the sky may have had to offer. "You will need your strength for travelling."

"You say that all the time," said Eren, in between bites of his food. "But we haven't encountered anything dangerous."

"Simply being present in the Wastelands is dangerous enough." Levi cast him a dark look. "Don't go wishing for more danger."

"I'm not!"

The immediate protest garnered an eyeroll from Levi. "Whatever. Just finish up eating so we can get moving again. I don't like staying in one place here."

It wasn't long before they were on the move again. For a long time, the only sound that echoed through the vast sprawl of desolation was the steady trundling of Levi's wagon. It was soothing, in a banal sort of way. Eren walked alongside the carriage to stretch his legs, and Levi sat up the front, murmuring soft words to the horses in a language Eren had never heard before. Annie walked ahead of the group, as usual.

"I wish I had brought some of my books." Armin sighed after a few hours of unbroken silence. He was cradling his head in his arms, and he looked desperately tired.

"Yeah, well, I wish I had never come." Jean hissed back venomously, crossing his arms across his chest. "This is all such a waste of time."

"Hey, you don't mean that. You're just tired and hungry, we all are-" Marco began, his voice soothing and calm as usual. He reached out and put a hand on Jean's shoulder, but it was shrugged off immediately.

"We're going all this way just because Eren feels a little uncomfortable once a month! Our lives are at risk every second-"

Eren had whipped round, his bright eyes flashing. He had been trying to ignore Jean up until now, but his words had caused Eren's anger to flare up. "I didn't _ask_ you to come, fuckface! _No one_ asked you to come! And how about you shut your mouth about my 'condition', you have no idea how it feels-!"

"How can anything feel bad enough to put yourself and your friends through _this_?"

"Stop acting as if I forced you to go-!"

Up ahead, Annie's head had turned slightly as if she were listening in. Eren thought he could see a smile curving her lips, but it was gone almost as quickly as he had seen it.

"We don't even know if this fucking cure _exists_! No one has _ever_ heard of a cure for lycanthropy, but you think that just because you asked the freak under the mountain for a favour you're magically going to be cured! How do you know we're not all being dragged out into the Wastelands to be eaten! I've heard his kind eat peop-" Jean abruptly stopped talking.

The wagon had been drawn to a gentle stop. In the ensuing silence, Levi had slowly turned around to face the group in the back of the wagon. His face was impassive and cold, but Eren could see something sparking in his eyes, even from a distance. "I do hope you're not talking about me."

The was an audible noise as Jean swallowed.

"Do you think I'm a freak?" His voice was deceptively calm; a slight breeze tousled the midnight-coloured hair around his pale face. Apparently unable to speak, Jean shook his head mutely. "Do you think I wish to eat you?" When he received no answer, Levi gave him a disparaging look of assessment. "I can't imagine you'd taste particularly nice. I don't enjoy the taste of bitterness and disappointment."

Jean opened his mouth, but no words came out. He closed it, and swallowed again. No one else spoke. Ahead of the wagon, Annie had stopped walking and was now watching the scene intently.

"And for the record," he leaned over the seat, closer to those in the back of the wagon - Jean leaned away nervously. "The monthly change is worse than a little discomfort." And with that, he turned back in his seat and urged the horses forward. The trundle of the wagon wheels filled the silence once more, and everyone seemed to breathe a soft, collective sigh.

It was after perhaps an hour that Eren decided to take his chances and join Levi in the front of the wagon. Despite the fact that there had been no attempt made to slow the horses when he noticed Eren coming over, it took hardly any effort to climb onto the moving wagon and take a seat beside Levi - his unnatural agility was something that he would probably actually miss once he got the cure.

There was a small partition separating the two seats in the front from the seating area in the back of the wagon, although it was barely high enough to hide Levi's head. Once Eren was settled in his seat, he leaned comfortably against the wooden screen. "So..."

"Kindly keep your petty arguments quiet next time."

Eren bristled. "It wasn't my fault! He was accusing me of-"

"I never said it was your fault." Levi interrupted him, his voice cool and collected. "I asked you to keep it down next time."

Scowling, Eren turned to gaze out at his surroundings. After a couple of seconds, he realised there wasn't anything to look at, and turned back. Gazing at Levi sounded like a much more pleasant activity. "Do you think he had a point?"

"Hm?"

Eren knew that Levi had heard him perfectly, but he repeated the question anyway. "Do you think Jean had a point? I mean, it's my fault that they're here-"

"Bullshit."

"Wha-?" said Eren eloquently. Hearing curses in that clear, cold voice was always surprising and exciting for him, no matter how many times Levi cursed (it was a lot).

"You didn't browbeat them into coming - they came of their own accord. Humans are funny like that."

"Funny like what?"

"How they pride themselves on their free will and ability to choose for themselves, but as soon as they make a choice that they regret, they seek to blame someone else." Levi brushed some hair out of his face, and Eren noticed that the clawed rings adorned his fingers once more.

"Why do you wear those?" He asked before he could stop himself, and then flushed.

"These?" A single clawed hand was raised dangerously close to Eren's face, but he didn't flinch. He simply took the chance to observe them more closely - they glinted and gleamed, although there was no sun to actually reflect the light of. There were spirals and runes carved along the sides, and Eren realised that they weren't made from just any metal. It was silver. Levi chuckled softly as he watched Eren lean away nervously - his laugh was quiet and understated, but there was an undercurrent of true mirth in it. "I wear them for protection."

"Protection against me?" Eren asked, even as he felt his stomach drop in disappointment. Perhaps it had been naive to hope that this otherworldly creature could trust him, could even notice him.

But Levi just snorted and rolled his eye. "You? Hardly. There are things more deadly out here than puppies."

"I'm not a puppy."

"Sure you're not." Levi ruffled his hair playfully. It was supposed to be a mocking act, but it was actually pleasant, and Eren found himself leaning into the touch. This earned a raised eyebrow. "You're acting like a puppy right now."

"Shut up." The words had hardly left his mouth before Eren froze, horrified at himself. How could he have spoken to the most deadly creature he'd ever encountered like that? Levi was going to murder him for speaking with such disrespect! But when he peeked up through his lashes, the dark haired creature had his eyes on the route ahead and looked faintly amused. His clawed hand was still in Eren's hair. "So, um.. Protection against what?"

With a roll of his gunmetal grey eyes, Levi removed his hand from the tangle of chocolate brown hair and returned it to his lap. Eren had to swallow a whine at the loss of contact; Levi would never have let him live it down. "Were you not listening yesterday? There are many deadly things in the Wastelands."

"I was listening!" Eren protested hotly. "I just don't see how silver can protect against anything other than lycans."

"Silver protects against most things from the Wastelands."

"But.. aren't you from the Wastelands? Shouldn't it hurt you, too?"

Levi smiled; it was a deadly thing, a slight curving of his lips. His eyes narrowed, and seemed to shine as silver as his rings. "Constant exposure numbs everything, eventually. At first, I couldn't stand to wear them. I accidentally cut myself with them once, and the wound didn't heal for weeks. Now, it hardly tingles anymore."

"Wow." Eren breathed, wide-eyed. He knew the burning pain silver brought; he had cut himself in the kitchen months and months ago, with a sharp silver knife. It was not a large cut, but it had bled far more than should have been possible, and Eren had never felt pain like it before. "So.. Do you think this cure exists?"

A shrug was not the answer he had been hoping for. "Who can say? We'll find out soon enough."

* * *

The full moon was in two days, and Eren was getting antsy. Already he felt like his skin was too tight, and the urge to claw his way out of his human flesh was strong. His hair seemed to constantly stand on end and he found himself in a terrible mood, snapping at his friends over nothing at all. Mikasa and Armin tried soothing him, but even their presence could do little to calm his discomfort and anxiety.

They were sitting around yet another fire at yet another camp they had made. Eren was angrily ripping apart his portion of deer meat, and his group of friends were pointedly avoiding looking at him - they had never seen him like this before, so close to the change. Only Armin and Mikasa found this display of aggression familiar, although not even they dared comment.

After a while, when Eren had finished eating and had gone back to scowling into the fire, Jean stood up and boldly made his way over to him. Ignoring the glare levelled his way, Jean took a seat next to his friend. "I wanted to say sorry."

"For what?" Eren muttered sullenly.

"For.. yesterday. Our argument."

"Ah."

"I don't really think those things. I wouldn't have come if I didn't respect your reasons for wanting the cure. Look," Here, Jean scratched the back of his head and looked all-consumingly awkward, "You're my friend, man, even if sometimes I hate your fucking guts. I'd still do anything for you. I'm here because I want to support you. It was my own choice to make this journey, and I don't regret it, okay?" His face was bright pink at the end of his little speech, but he maintained eye contact with Eren nonetheless. "I don't know why I said those things earlier, I didn't mean them."

From the corner, almost out of sight, Levi spoke up, "The Wastelands have a nasty habit of breeding resentment and ill will. Many arguments have brewed here and have resulted in spilled blood. The land feeds on hate and violence like a newborn leeches milk from its mother."

Jean cleared his throat nervously, apparently having forgotten Levi was there at all; it wasn't hard to forget, given that he seemed to enjoy hiding in dark nooks and crannies. "Ah. Yeah. Um.. Sorry for calling you a freak."

"I've been called worse."

That wasn't hard to believe at all. Jean bobbed his head, unsure of what to say next. Silence fell over the group for a few minutes, before Eren finally spoke up, "It's okay, horseface. Forgive and forget, right?"

"Right." Jean looked relieved as he got to his feet. "Well, I think I'm gonna go to bed now. Marco, you coming?"

The others made quiet murmurs of assent, and they all began to trickle back to the wagon to get their blankets and find a nice sleeping spot. Instead of joining his friends in going to bed, Eren stood and moved to join Levi. He had moved closer to the fire once the younger travellers had gone, and the firelight now illuminated his sharp and pale features. It was almost painful to Eren, to be reminded how beautiful this creature was. He sat beside him, and felt blessed to be able to get so close. Levi himself said nothing; he was staring into the fire, watching the flames lick and dance and spark. A cool breeze wafted past, causing his long fingers to clench and draw his green cloak tighter around his shoulders.

"Green suits you." Eren's eyes widened as soon as he realised he had made that comment out loud.

He didn't have any time to backtrack before Levi was chuckling darkly. "Thanks, puppy." Silence fell for a few minutes, before Levi turned to face him. "The full moon is getting close. You're being affected already, judging by your behaviour."

"Yeah.. guess so." Eren scuffed his ragged shoe off the ground, embarrassed. "I feel terrible. It's like there's all this pressure building up in my skull... I dunno." After another moment or so, Eren found his gaze tracing Levi's features once more; he found it calming, in a strange way. His pale forehead was smooth from any lines, and his dark eyebrows arched regally over his eyes - he looked almost annoyed, and his body was slightly tensed. He was always tense, Eren had noticed, ever since they had entered the Wastelands. It was as though he were looking for something.

"How am I ever going to get the words _'stop staring'_ through your thick skull, huh?"

"Sorry." Eren's face flushed, and he looked away swiftly.

A soft sigh filled the dead air around them, and then Levi's silver-clawed fingers were grasping Eren's chin and turning his face back towards him. Their eyes met, and Eren swallowed thickly. The urge to claw his way out of his human skin had faded somewhat under Levi's soothing touch. "What am I going to do with you, hm?"

His mouth was dry, and his heart was pounding in his throat. _Levi was still holding his face_. Something seemed to snap in the back of his mind, because suddenly it was like his vision had magnified and sharpened; he could see every inch of Levi's beautiful form in colours he had never seen before, and it was glorious. The sound of Levi's heart beating, faster than a human heart could ever beat, fluttering and stuttering like a hummingbirds wings echoed across the seemingly endless space between them - the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. "Levi.."

And the _smell_ \- was that Levi too? The enticing, clean smell, like sweet peas and cool water and freshly cut grass? How could one person appeal to so many senses all at once? It was almost too much.

"Eren..?"

His _voice_ , so clear and precise, calling his name. Eren wanted to hear that voice call his name under different circumstances, he wanted it to sound breathless and shaky-

The creamy skin under his hands was so soft, he wondered what it would taste like-

" _Eren!_ "

Eren blinked. The light from the fire was so bright, it hurt his eyes. It wasn't so bright a moment ago, was it? He blinked again, and finally focused on his surroundings. He was _straddling_ Levi. When the fuck had that happened? There was irritation in those sparkling grey eyes, but also.. was that concern? Why was Levi _concerned_? "I- what? Levi-? What happened?"

"Get off me."

"Right." His face was bright red now, he was sure of it. He rolled off the smaller body beneath him, struggling to ignore the scents and the sights all around him; they were overwhelming.

"What the fuck triggered _that?_ " Levi muttered as he pushed himself into a sitting position. His eyes were mere slits now as he glared at Eren, who shrank back.

"I- what happened?" His voice was little more than a pathetically confused whisper.

Apparently taking pity on him, the intensity of Levi's gaze lessened slightly. "You let your instincts get the better of you."

"That- nothing like that has ever happened before-"

"Have you ever gotten aroused this close to the full moon before?"

"I- I wasn't _aroused_ -!"

Ignoring the red-faced and spluttering Eren, Levi continued to speak. "Describe how you felt."

"How I-?!"

"Not the aroused part. I meant how you felt when your wolf instincts took over."

"Oh." _Wolf instincts?_ Was that what had happened? "Um.. I could see a lot better. Like, a _lot_ better. I saw colours I didn't think even existed! And.. My hearing was better too - you have a weird heartbeat, you know."

Levi's lips twitched. "I know. What else?"

"My sense of smell, I guess? You smelled really good.." He was blushing again; he could feel the heat travelling up his neck. "I wasn't thinking straight. I wanted to.. wanted to bite you." The blush was gone all of a sudden; he had turned a startling shade of white. "Oh my god. Levi, I- I wanted to _bite_ you!"

He had expected Levi to be horrified, or angry maybe, but the pale creature just shrugged. "You could have, if you wanted to - wouldn't have made much of a difference. You wouldn't have been able to turn me. Creatures like me can't change their nature."

"But- that's not the point! I wanted to hurt you!"

"Did you?" Levi asked calmly, reclining on his side next to the warmth of the fire. He looked utterly carefree, though his clawed fingers tapped an impatient beat on the hard packed earth. Eren absently wondered why those claws hadn't ripped into his flesh he second he'd laid a hand on Levi. "I don't think your intention was to hurt me at all."

"W-what else could I have been trying to do?"

Another shrug, and a thin eyebrow lifted. "Werefolk have always had a strange kink for claiming things." It took a few moments for those words to sink in, and then Eren's face was flaming once more. Before he could say a word though, Levi was sitting up again. Their faces were even closer than before, but this time Levi's eyes were hard and cold. "But listen to me, brat. I'm not yours to claim. I've never been anyone's to claim. Keep your horny instincts under control; I don't need a puppy humping my leg."

It was entirely possible that Eren's face was never going to return to its normal tanned colour again. Perhaps his new skin tone was going to be this hideous shade of mortified pink. "I-"

"It's late. Go to bed."

Eren scrambled to his feet as fast as he could (which was _fast_ , so fast he blurred) and escaped over to where his friends were already deep in slumber. Thank god they hadn't witnessed that, whatever that was. He crawled in beside Armin and Mikasa, and huddled close to his childhood friends. Whatever that exchange had been, it was embarrassing. Eren hated the fact that he was still aroused by it, and the memory of the cold fire in Levi's eyes when the powerful being had put his face so close to Eren's wasn't helping him much.

He didn't get much sleep that night.


	6. Authority

Eren didn't ride up front in the wagon the next day; the thought of facing Levi was too much. Instead, he took to walking ahead of the horses with Annie. She ignored him for the most part and didn't ask why he had decided to stick with her, which he was grateful for. But every so often, he'd notice her staring at him from the corner of her eyes. Her gaze made him incredibly uncomfortable - there was something _dead_ about her eyes, something so very cold. There was none of the cool fire that was in Levi's eyes present in Annie's; there was nothing at all.

Her staring certainly wasn't helping his mood; his skin still felt like it was pulled too tight over his skeleton, and his teeth felt too big for his skull. Pressure was building in his head, and his eyes seemed far too sensitive to what little light filtered through the grey sky. Restless energy coursed through him, turning him snappish and irritable - so really, it was hardly surprising when he turned to meet Annie's dead stare, the stare that would normally have sent him cowering, and growled at her. "What do you _want?_ "

Her expression didn't change much, apart from a quirked eyebrow. "I want many things."

"Stop staring at me." His teeth felt a lot sharper than usual, and he bared them at her out of pure reflex.

Annie didn't miss a step, and she didn't slow down, but something about her demeanour changed; if her gaze was cold before, now it was freezing. "You dare bare your teeth at me? You? Oh, Eren. Do you know nothing?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Her nose twitched, as of disgusted by his question. "My father taught me many things about lycans. He taught me many things about the change, about the strength of the moon and bloodlust, and the distribution of power. The moon is the most powerful of all, did you know that? She controls the waves of the wild ocean, she controls the bloom of the flowers across the lands. The moon is a god."

Eren gaped at her; in all their time travelling, he had never heard Annie speak so much. He didn't know what to say, so he managed a strangled "Okay." _What the fuck was she talking about?_

Unfazed by the less than eloquent response, she continued, "And if the moon is a god, lycans are the moon personified on earth. Their strength, agility and power all come from the moon. And when she is in full power, so are lycans."

"Did you have a point, here?" Eren asked, finally recovered enough from his surprise to regain some of his previous irritation.

"I did, actually. My father also told me of lycan customs." She met his gaze again, "To bare your teeth is to invite a fight to the death. Is that what you were trying to initiate?"

"No." Eren swallowed, scowling.

"Good. Because you wouldn't win." Her hand flew out to grasp Eren's chin, and he let out a surprised and infuriated growl. He tried to jerk out of her grip, but she was strong; surprisingly so. Her strong fingers belied her small stature, and she pulled Eren down so he was eye-level with her. Sharp nails cut into the soft flesh under his chin. "Don't challenge me like that again, Jaeger."

"What's going on?" Levi's sharp voice from behind them caused the furious reply to die on Eren's tongue.

Annie looked darkly satisfied when she recognised Eren's silent defeat, and she let go of his chin and turned around. The wagon had trundled to a stop behind them, and all of Eren's friends were poking their heads out to see what the commotion was. They looked worried, except for Levi and Mikasa; they looked downright murderous.

"We were chatting, weren't we, Eren?"

_She's insane_ , Eren thought to himself as he caught sight of the dangerous glint in her otherwise lifeless eyes. "Yeah." He said at last, without looking at his friends - he kept his eyes fixed on Annie, and she did the same for him. It was like a silent battle for power, and Eren was determined not to look away first. "Chatting."

"You're bleeding." said Levi.

Eren knew, he could feel the warm liquid on his throat from where Annie's nails had bitten into his skin. He didn't break eye contact as he raised his hand to feel at the torn flesh. It was half-healed already, so he just glared at her. "Just a scratch."

The two of them moved forwards at the same time, and the wagon followed after a brief moment. A tense silence had stretched out between the two of them, and neither were particularly willing to break it. The dead air swirled around them, and their feet kicked up little clouds of dust as they trudged through the grey earth. It was only when they were out of earshot of the wagon that Annie spoke again. "What is your relationship with the wish-dealer?"

Eren's head whipped around so fast that his neck gave a loud and rather painful crack. "What?"

The way Annie was side-eying him with what looked like no small amount of _amusement_ dancing in her lifeless eyes made Eren's blood boil. "You think you're subtle? Everyone can see the way you look at him. Yesterday your sister was contemplating some very creative ways to kill him if he hurt you."

"There is no relationship between me and Levi."

"No? I've never heard of him travelling into the Wastelands _personally_ for just anybody." It was clear she was enjoying herself, even though her expression remained impassive and bored. "And I've seen you sit with him late at night."

"Where do you go when everyone is sleeping?" It was an extremely transparent attempt to change the subject, but Eren's face was flaming and he was already in a bad mood and being reminded of the previous evening's embarrassing events was only pissing him off further.

The question actually seemed to have taken Annie by surprise; she very nearly missed a step, only to regain her footing at the last minute and glare at him. "My business is my own."

"Oh, but _my_ business is open for discussion?"

"So you admit there's something to discuss?"

"Fuck you, Annie." Eren sped up, but the girl kept pace with him easily. Her fair-hair glinted and shone, which was strange given the lack of sunlight.

"Lighten up." And okay, _that_ was the single most hypocritical thing Eren had ever heard pass the lips of a human being - _lighten up,_ coming from the girl who looked as if someone had pissed in her mouth while she was sleeping. Eren opened his mouth to tell her exactly what he thought of this, but she cut him off effortlessly. "It's just been a while since I've seen such obviously lovelorn idiots."

"I am not _lovelorn-_ "

"Shut up." She recommended. "You are. I can _smell_ the love on you."

"Fuck off." Eren repeated - he felt as though he were rapidly losing control of the conversation. Had he ever been in control of the conversation? Was he _ever_ in control of _any_ conversation? No. Not really. But _love?_ He barely even _knew_ Levi. Was he attracted to the stupidly beautiful asshole? Yeah, definitely. But love was an entirely new level; he'd never been in love in his life, how would he even know what it felt like? "It's not as if it means anything."

He could feel her gaze burning a hole in the side of his head, and when she spoke he nearly flinched at the ice in her voice. "Tell me you're not really as stupid as you look." Her voice overrode Eren's again as he tried to protest. "You think it's unrequited? It's not."

Eren closed his mouth, and his eyes narrowed. "Don't joke about that."

"I can't believe this. I agreed to lead a complete and total _idiot_ into the Wastelands. Do you know anything?"

Nettled, Eren snapped "Do _I_ know anything? What would _you_ know about love?" As soon as the words were out, Annie's eyes darkened. Eren only had the barest of warning before her hand was around his throat. " _Fuck,_ let go-"

"I know more about love and loss than you could ever hope to comprehend."

"Okay- _ack!_ "

"You think I'm cold? Heartless? Everyone does. But _I'm_ not the one who couldn't tell the difference between my feelings and my fucking big toe, Eren Jaeger."

"Alright- _okay!_ " Eren was snarling at this point, and his teeth suddenly felt a hell of a lot bigger and sharper in his mouth; but Annie's warning from earlier echoed in his head and he kept his lips pressed together as best as he could despite the crushing grip on his throat. "I get it-! Let go-" he was released so suddenly that he went crashing to the ground, the skin on his knees tearing upon impact and healing almost in the same second.

"Eren!" Mikasa's voice called out - and she sounded _pissed_. She had jumped out of the wagon and run towards them, skidding to a stop and hunkering next to her brother. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

Mikasa stood and rounded on Annie. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

The icy anger in Annie's eyes had dissipated, only to be replaced with an eerie look of disinterest. She caught Eren's eye, before turning on her heel and marching soundlessly away.

"Hey!" Mikasa shouted after her, but Eren put his hand on her arm and told her to leave it. Feeling stronger already, he got to his feet and began walking again, ignoring Mikasa's fussing. His already accelerated healing seemed to be improving, as often happened around the full moon. "Eren, what the hell was that about?"

"It was nothing, Mikasa." It was difficult to fight the urge to glance over his shoulder and check if Levi looked concerned, but fight it Eren did. He didn't want to end up disappointed.

"It didn't look like nothing, it looked like she threatened you. Twice." When Eren didn't reply, she clicked her tongue in impatience. "How did we end up in the middle of the Wastelands with _two_ dangerous, volatile midgets?" She tossed a venomous look back at Levi, but her eyes were drawn back to her adopted brother when he sighed. "Eren, really, what's wrong? I want to help."

"Annie thinks I'm in love with Levi."

Mikasa's eyes narrowed so sharply that they were almost completely closed. "And are you?"

"I don't know."

There was a long silence, during which she looked into the distance with a small frown creasing her forehead. "Your taste in men is shit."

Eren splutted. "Mikasa-!"

She ignored him and ploughed on, "However, it's easy to see you're acting differently since you met him. I don't trust him though, so for all I know he could've used some kind of black magic to make fall for him-"

"Wow Mikasa, thanks-"

"Is that really what Annie was about to throttle you over?"

"Yeah, I guess so." A troubled frown appeared on Eren's forehead, matching Mikasa's. All this thinking wasn't helping his pounding head. "Also I may have insulted her by doubting her capacity for love."

"Oh, _Eren-!_ "

"I don't know why I said it! I feel bad, okay. I just- I don't know."

Mikasa sighed, and pushed her overgrown bangs out of her eyes. Her red scarf was slung casually around her shoulders, as the Wastelands were neither cold enough to wear it properly nor warm enough to remove it completely. "The evening of the full moon isn't the right time to be considering these things anyway. You're not yourself."

"Yeah." Eren muttered. "I guess so."

It was almost two hours later that Connie let out a shout. "Hey, what the fuck is that?!"

It had appeared out of seemingly nowhere - one moment the Wastelands had stretched out in front of them in its usual barren glory, and the next an outline of a blurry grey forest had risen up into their vision. The trees were tall and grey and leafless, and didn't really look like trees at all. The edges of the forest seemed to shimmer like a mirage.

"That's where we're headed." Annie spoke up for the first time since the earlier encounter with Eren.

"Of course it is." Connie had sighed from the wagon, hiding his face in his hands. "Why can't we walk _around_ the creepy forest?"

"What's in there?" asked Eren.

Annie's eyes had met his, and Eren had to fight back the shiver threatening to run up his back due to her empty gaze. "What we came here for."

For the first time since they had entered the Wastelands, Eren felt a little burn of hope. It was finally time for him to find his cure, and if they got there in time he could be cured before he turned that night! Pretending not to feel the intense gazes of both Annie and Levi (he still wasn't over his embarrassment, so he most certainly wouldn't be looking at _Levi_ just yet), he said "Well, let's go then!"

When they set off again, it was with a considerable amount of more enthusiasm. Eren's headache and general discomfort lessened - he was going to be just _fine._


	7. Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: this chapter and the next one are my two favourite chapters, and were SO much fun to write!

Up close, the forest looked grim and foreboding; it suited the Wastelands well. The trees towered high above, so high it looked as if the tips were brushing against the dull sky. Their bark was sickly and grey looking, and unhealthy looking sap was oozing from cracks like open sores on the surface.

"Please don't tell me we're going in there." Sasha whimpered. To her left, Jean made an odd sound of agreement. Their heads were tilted back as they gazed at the sheer height of the forest.

"No." said Annie. The group relaxed marginally, until she spoke again, "Just myself and Eren."

"No." Mikasa said furiously, leaning out of the wagon. Beside her, Armin looked anxiously between Eren and Annie.

"You're going in _there_?" Connie stared into the gloomy shadows between the trees, aghast.

Mikasa vaulted out of the wagon and strode up to Annie. She was at least a head taller than the other girl, and she glared down at her. "I don't trust you. There is _no_ way that you're going in there alone with my brother."

"We don't have much time." There was an odd lilt to Annie's voice, though it sounded as bored and cold as always. Her flat eyes flickered up to look at the sky and the others followed her gaze; the sun was dipping lower in the blank sky, and the moon was already visible, hanging bright and fat opposite the steadily falling sun.

Eren swallowed anxiously; the pull of the moon was already making him feel hazy and sick. Sweat was beginning to dampen his temples, and his eyes felt dry and painful. "Let's go then."

"Eren!"

"I don't have a _choice,_ Mikasa!" He snarled, his irritability getting the better of him. He managed to reign the dark nature of his wolf side in with great difficulty, before speaking again. "I'm about to change. As soon as the sun sets, that's it. I need that cure; it's now or never."

It looked as though Mikasa were going to argue further, but Annie interrupted by nodding and taking a few steps towards the tree-line. "We should be going then."

"No." It was Levi this time. His voice was low but firm, and he swung himself down from the wagon with inhuman grace. Annie glared at him, and he stared back unfazed. A cold wind blew through the group, catching their clothes and fluttering their hair. "You are not going in alone."

Annie was so still she could have been carved from stone. Only her mouth moved as she spoke, "We came all this way. Are you going to stop us here?"

"I want to go." Eren spoke up; his throat felt dry and scratchy, and his voice sounded deeper than usual. He could see Levi's narrow-eyed gaze on him, but he didn't meet his eyes. "It's my choice, right?" He didn't notice Annie's slight smile.

"I will come with you then." Levi said shortly, glaring at Annie through his bangs.

"No." She said sharply.

"Excuse me?"

"I agreed to guide him here," Annie jerked her chin in Eren's direction, "No one else. You have no business in the forest."

"Eren is my business." The short reply was enough to make Eren's heart almost stutter, but then Levi continued, "He's my customer, and part of our deal was that I would travel with him to get this cure."

"You can't leave the others here alone." She said. The almost mocking lilt was back in her voice, though her expression remained the same. "The Wastelands are dangerous at night."

There was a pause, during which Levi looked torn - as if he _actually cared_ about what happened to the ragtag little group of travellers.

"We'll be fine." Jean spoke up, much to Eren's surprise. He looked terrified, but his jaw was set and his eyes were hard. "You guys go and get Eren cured."  
The others nodded, clenching their jaws and trying to appear brave for Eren's sake. He felt his heart squeeze, and he smiled at them in thanks. Mikasa still looked worried, but she had stepped back. She caught Eren's eye and mouthed _'Be safe'_. He nodded.

Levi eyed them all intently, before giving a short nod. "Don't move from this spot. Build a fire and when the sun sets, stick close to it. Do _not_ enter the forest." He instructed quietly. The small group nodded, and he turned back to face Annie and Eren. "Let's go then."

* * *

Annie was less than impressed that Levi had chosen to tag along, judging by her persistent glaring and put-upon sighs. She was mostly ignored; the forest was difficult enough to navigate without the added pressure of worrying about Annie's bad mood. The ground was treacherous, with thick roots protruding from the ground like hands and catching on their trousers and shoes. Several times Eren had almost gone flying, only for Levi grabbing the back of his shirt to keep him on his feet. The sun was dipping below the trees, and Eren kept casting it nervous glances as it disappeared, covered from view by masses of sickly looking leaves.

"Are you okay?" murmured Levi from the corner of his mouth, too quietly for Annie to hear. He had been eyeing Eren for some time now, apparently concerned (at least, Eren hoped he was concerned, but it was hard to tell when it came to Levi). Eren attempted to answer, but all that came out was a soft, pained groan. A flash of alarm seemed to cross Levi's face for a split second, but his voice was calm when he turned to Annie and asked "How much farther?"

She was a few paces ahead, but turned and eyed Eren critically. "Not long now."

"I-" Wincing, Eren swallowed. His throat was dry and his head was pounding, his mouth tasted like salt and muscles felt achy and weak. There was a huge pressure building in the base of his skull, resulting in a sharp pain in the front of his head around his eyes. His knees felt rubbery. "I don't feel so good."

"Keep going." Levi urged, squeezing his arm and encouraging him forward.

Everything smelled of ash. Everything but the single, comforting smell of Levi; the smell of fresh grass and garden sweet peas, and Eren focused on that smell and grounded himself around it as best as he could. But it was so _hard_ to focus on that one smell when his teeth felt bruised and huge, and his tongue felt too large for his mouth. There was another smell too, a bitter and rich scent that carried along the air - it smelled so _close,_ and it put Eren on edge, but he was so preoccupied with the sensations bombarding him from every part of his body that he didn't focus on where the scent was coming from. Maybe that was a mistake.

Annie was talking, he realised. A small smile was curving her thin lips as she walked, and it looked out of place on her ordinarily stoic features. "-must be strange for you, considering you came from here. I can't understand why you would choose to live amongst humanity. A creature like you would never be welcome."

_What?_ , Eren thought, confused. His thoughts were thick and heavy, and it took him a moment to realise that she had been talking to Levi.

"It was strange, at first." The smaller man said guardedly. His hand remained a steadying presence on Eren's arm, and he was grateful for it. "But I've come to enjoy the human lands. Good food and good wine are things I have come to relish." He paused briefly to assist Eren over a twisted root, before turning his eyes skyward. "Are we close?"

"You like him." Annie cast her gaze to Eren, before looking back to Levi. "Why?"

A cold wind was blowing, disturbing the dead leaves on the trees and creating a sound like a hundred whispering voices. It was mildly disconcerting, even to Eren in his on-the-verge-of-change state, but he was too focused on Levi to pay too much attention to the breathy warnings whispered in the wind. Levi hadn't answered yet; his jaw had tightened somewhat and his eyes were flinty. Maybe to prove a point, he took a step away from Eren and maintained some space between them. "He's a good kid."

Eren clenched his jaw, ignoring the sharp ache in his teeth at the action. _A good kid? Awesome. That's just how I want to be thought of,_ he thought.

Annie had apparently noticed his expression, because she raised an eyebrow and asked "Is that it?"

"Do I need more reason?" asked Levi coolly. It was clear from his tone that he didn't actually expect an answer, but Annie responded anyway.

"I've never heard of you leaving your little mountain hovel since you took up there. And yet here you are, escorting a little werewolf boy into the Wastelands just because you were _asked_."

_I didn't ask Levi to come with me_ , Eren thought, frowning. He was pretty sure that Levi had made that decision himself.

"Oh?" Annie looked delighted (as much as Annie _could_ look delighted, anyway. There wasn't much change in her expression but for a brightening of her eyes). Eren realised he had spoken aloud, and that Levi now looked as though he were about to murder him. "So, Levi did it out of the goodness of his _heart_."

Levi snarled softly. The sound startled Eren, and he nearly reacted with a warning growl of his own before he reigned his instincts in - he wasn't a wolf, not yet. But there was a pushing, niggling presence in his mind growing stronger and stronger, and soon it was going to overpower his logical thinking. He felt like his head was being split into two; Eren and wolf, and both sides were battling for control.  
"How about you go and fuck off." Levi snapped.

"Are we there yet?" interrupted Eren - he sounded _terrible_. His voice was ragged and rough as though he been deprived of water for days, and the words fell from his tongue as though he were fumbling with a language unknown to him.

"Soon."

" _When the fuck is soon?_ " the guttural snarl sounded nothing like Eren's usually sunny tone - it sounded like someone else entirely. The sudden change caused all three of them to pause, and Annie slowly turned to survey Eren up and down. She seemed satisfied with what she saw.

"Now." she said.

The change was a funny thing - painful and rather unpleasant, and yet gratifying and freeing beyond the expression of words. If Eren's senses had been heightened before, they sharpened now to a point of pain. The sound of the breeze blowing the trees became a roar in his ears, and the light of the amber moon filtering through the leaves became blinding. Smell improved too - he could smell the familiar smell of Levi, so otherworldly and sweet, and he could smell Annie. But what he smelled wasn't human. She smelled like wet forest and rain, and of moonlight and darkness. The smell was heady and bitter and strong, and Eren wondered how he could ever have missed it before. She smelled of _wolf._

"Eren?" Levi was reaching towards him, his sharp-clawed rings glinting bright in the light of the moon. He was _worried,_ Eren could smell it off him, and the thought was uplifting and terrifying at the same time. Now was not the time to be worried about Eren. Now was the time to be _getting away_ from Eren because _damn it he was changing and he couldn't hold himself back-_

"Behold, the sacrificial wolf." said Annie, and then she laughed.

A look of horror broke Levi's composure, before morphing into fury. "You _fucking-"_

"Run." Eren's voice was coarse, almost inhuman. Soon, he would lose it completely in favour of snarls and growls. His mind was already hazy, filled with the pale light of the moon. "Please, Levi. Run." But Levi stood still and unmoving by Eren's side, jaw clenched angrily.

Annie was moving now, weaving around the trees with precise, quick movements. Her eyes glinted silver in the moonlight, and Eren hated himself because _how could he not have noticed before?_ "The moon is strong tonight." She commented. Her voice had changed too, although not as drastically as Eren's. "Can you feel it, Jaeger?"

Hot, _hot_ pain flared up Eren's spine and caused him to fall his knees, grunting and panting. The noises spewing from his mouth weren't human, and sweat was pooling in the dip in his back because his spine had curved in agony. The whispers of the wind through the trees sounded malignant now, dark and dangerous and destructive. Levi was saying something, his voice low and urgent, but Eren couldn't hear him, couldn't focus on anything except the pull of the moon. Annie was laughing, the wind was whispering, and Eren was almost certain that he was crying.

"It's been a long time since I've seen a fellow wolf." Annie said softly, all traces of her insane laughter wiped from her face. She looked sombre now. "A long time. You bared your teeth at me, Jaeger. Do you remember what that means?" Eren tried to reply, to tell her to go and fuck herself, but no words came out. The vocal cords in his throat were thickening, and all he managed was a low, coarse snarl. "I'll remind you."

Eren's bones twisted, and he roared as he felt sinews and muscles tear and reknit as his body _grew_. His hair was growing, he could feel hairs sprouting from follicles all over his body, and of all things he could have felt at that exact moment he felt _embarrassment_. Levi was watching after all, and here was Eren turning into a fucking _dog._ The embarrassment was short-lived, however; it died as soon as he caught sight of Annie.

The blonde girl was standing under a tall, dead tree. An insane smile was stretched across her face, and her eyes were so bright they looked reflective. And then she began to change. Eren watched as her smile turned into a wide, red grin that split her face, as her canines lengthened and her tongue came lolling out. She was changing too, melting and twisting and steaming, until a snarling, foaming beast was left in her stead.

Something seemed to pop like a soap bubble in Eren's head at the sight of another wolf, because the last vestiges of common sense and humanity were promptly buried under age old instincts. He gave himself over to the change, ripped at his clothing until it lay in tatters all around him and he was free in all his naked, unrestrained glory.

They were wolves, but not really - _Creatures,_ half-man and half-wolf, but not truly either. They were twice the size of ordinary wolves, with savage red slashes for mouths and sharp teeth. Thick hair covered every part of them, and they hunched like beasts but could stand on two legs like man. Muscle corded the arms and legs, and their paws struck the ground with a threatening determination. They were still for what felt like an eternity.

And then Eren tipped his head back and howled. The beast across from him (covered in thick white fur, looking at him with Annie's eyes), threw her head back and howled with him. Their animalistic voices rang together and became one, a long wild sound that chimed with the wind and warned of the danger to come.

It ended suddenly, and then Annie was leaping right for him.


	8. Fight

Eren had once broken his arm when he was six years old. He had fallen out of a tree and landed on his arm at a bad angle - he could still remember the _snap_ of the bone, of Mikasa's panic as she ran to get his father, of his mother's fussing and his father's anger. The cold throbbing of the broken bone had been agonising back then, and he remembered weeping into his mother's shoulder and praying for the pain to stop. His father had forbidden him to climb anymore trees after that.

The change was a bit like every bone in his body breaking and shifting and then resetting, stronger and heavier than before. Even after, when the change was completed, his body felt tender and new, as though his skin had been scorched off by fire and covered with a thick, heavy animal fur. But his gait had changed - he tread lighter now, as though a heavy weight had been taken from him despite his significant increase in mass. He was faster, and he knew where his victims weak spots were as though the knowledge had been sitting in his head for years, just waiting to be accessed. He was designed to be a fighter.

So when Annie launched herself towards him, jaws snapping and thick saliva flying, it was with no second thought that Eren threw himself forwards to meet her. They collided midair and became a blur of snarls and growls and roars. Claws blurred and flashed in the moonlight, and the scent of blood flooded the night air.

They each backed off then, circling and snapping warningly at each other. The scarlet eyes set in Annie's wolfish face were shining in the milky light of the moon - Eren could see where the word lunatic came from.

They attacked again as one, as though connected by the flow of the moon. Eren was acting purely on an instinctual level now, but Annie was _better_ , more skilled - her claws were opening up wounds all over him, and she roared in pleasure when the scent of blood hit the air again. And then, by some miracle, Eren managed to get in a good shot and opened up a large gash along the side of her left flank. She snarled and turned, ready to kill, but the sound of a snapping twig had both their heads turning.

Levi stood there, under two large trees, watching the fight with slightly widened eyes. He taken a step back, instinctually trying to distance himself from the raging beasts, but the twig he had stepped on had only drawn attention to himself. Annie let out a beastly rumble, almost like laughter, and stepped towards him. Her eyes glittered malignantly, like a shark who had scented blood. She looked _hungry._

"Shit-" Levi cursed, throwing himself backwards as Annie pounced towards him, all sharp teeth and deadly claws.

But then Eren was barrelling into her side, knocking her off-course before she could lay a single paw on Levi. Any logical thought or strategy had fled him - she had tried to _attack Levi._ He was so full of rage he thought he would burst, outraged at the mere prospect of the other wolf disrupting a single shiny hair on Levi's head. He was snarling and spitting, all fury and brute strength as he wrestled her away into the trees.

The fight seemed to last hours, a violent whirlwind of malevolent growling and flashing teeth. The change had lent Eren strength and speed, but Annie was stronger and faster. She twisted and tore at his face and chest, scratching at his muzzle and clawing his belly. Pained yelps echoed through the stagnant air as Eren staggered away, his big body landing heavily on the forest floor. A long, deep gash had been carved from his shoulder to his lower flank, effectively cleaving his side in half.

Blood dripped.

He was dizzy, suddenly, and weak. His large chest was heaving, pulling air deep into his lungs as he watched Annie approach him once more. The stars twinkled up above him, the only things the Wastelands hadn't dulled. He watched them, and somewhere in the back of his roiling, angry mind he hoped that Levi had enough sense to run while Annie was preoccupied with killing him. If he was fast enough, he could get his friends back to safety as well.

A growl came from his side, and Annie's front paws were pressing insistently at his chest, demanding his attention. He tore his gaze away from the night sky and bared his teeth at her; they had engaged in their fight to the death, and Eren had lost. He knew how this was destined to end, he knew it in a way that sang through his blood and sat in his bones.

She bared her teeth in return and opened her jaw wide, displaying a gaping red maw the colour of freshly spilled blood - and then Eren realised that she wasn't responding to his challenge, she was getting ready to _feed_. He was going to be cannibalised. His breath steamed and billowed in the dead air as he tensed up, causing another wave of sharp pain to wrack his body from the wound in his side. Annie's red eyes glittered knowingly above him, and he turned his head to the side with a _whumph_ to avoid looking at her as she prepared to kill him.

Except then he saw Levi; the wish-dealer hadn't run as Eren hoped he would, and he didn't look as though running was his intention now. The second Annie bent her razor-sharp mouth towards Eren's throat Levi moved, stepping forward and throwing his arms out in the one movement. His change was subtler and much faster than Eren's had been; his eyes grew bright and silvery, as though hammered out of precious metals, and his green cloak began to swirl around him before it tightened and seemed to adhere to his skin. Eren watched in a dull haze as the clawed rings on Levi's long fingers lengthened and sharpened, becoming as wickedly curved as miniature scythes. Moonlight flashed along their length, bright and pale upon the silver. The sight of the shining silver was enough to convince Annie to take a cautious step back, but not enough to cause a complete retreat. "Get away from him."

The words rang through the stale air like echoes of a rung bell, soft and deadly and furious. Annie's growls had ceased, but her silence was more terrifying than her rumbles had been. She didn't move, her sharp claws a biting pressure on Eren's wounded flesh. All was still and tense and Eren could feel every thump of his heart in his torn up chest. Then one of Annie's claws slipped into the gaping wound on his chest and he let out an involuntary yelp of agony.

That small noise of pain seemed to spur Levi into action; he moved, nothing but a pale white shape hurtling forward. In the split second it took for him to cross the distance, fear took hold of Eren and he wanted to shout at to Levi to stop, to _run_ because he was going to get himself hurt, he was so small and so beautiful, it looked like he was made from crystals and porcelain, like he might shatter into pieces. But then Levi collided with the hulking white wolf that Annie had become, and he was so much stronger than he seemed because then he was pulling her off of Eren and they were both rolling off into the dark places under the shadowy trees.

Eren heaved himself to his feet, but stumbled when he tried to follow after them. His legs gave out, and steam billowed from underneath him - it was coming from the gash along his underbelly, he could feel it burning and throbbing and stinging as the flesh knitted back together. His strength seemed to be leaking out along with the steam, and it took a great effort just to raise his head in an attempt to see where Levi and Annie had gone. His eyelids felt heavy, and he fought to keep them open.

In the darkness there was movement, too fast for the human eye to comprehend - but Eren had left his humanity behind, and he watched Levi as he twisted and leaped and whirled like a winter wind, quick and cold and vicious. His movements were silent, and he cut through the air like a knife, silver talons flashing. He was beautiful.

Annie was fast, but Levi was faster. She was only a wolf, after all, and Levi was something incomprehensible, something far beyond words. The air seemed to thicken and electrify, and Eren knew that the fight would be over soon. Annie's movements were becoming wild, driven by fear, but it was useless - one wrong move, a small misstep, and silver claws were raked up, cutting through fur and twisted flesh like a steak knife carving through warm butter.

Annie staggered and went down.

Levi circled her fallen form, and as he did so she looked up. Her eyes were brighter now, feverish with fear, and she threw back her head and howled. It wasn't a bloodthirsty cry, like before. Rather, it was a plaintive, broken wail that split through the air and echoed off the trees. Eren felt the cry resound in the base of his skull, and he understood instinctually that she was calling out to someone.

But there was no reply.

She sagged, huge body heaving, against the ground and looked up at Levi through hooded eyes. She was no match for him, it seemed she had accepted that, and she watched as he circled and paused and her huge shaggy body trembled as Levi raised his arm to strike.

And then Eren's eye drooped closed as he lost consciousness.

* * *

When Eren's eyes finally opened, his vision was blurry and weak and his body ached and throbbed all over.

Dawn's colourless light was trickling into the dark sky, and Eren blinked and looked down and saw that he had two legs and two arms and no thick, wolfy fur. He was also buck-ass nude. He groaned feebly and attempted to move, but then there was a steadying hand above him hold his head and murmuring softly.

"Easy, easy. Drink this."

A cup was held to his lips, full of cool and clear water, until he had drunk his fill. When the cup was lowered, Eren looked up and met Levi's grey eyes; he looked tired, with dark circles engraved deep under his eyes. "Are you.." He began hoarsely, before breaking off into a harsh cough. He tried again. "Are you okay?"

"Yes." said Levi.

"Um.." Eren felt his face burning, "I'm naked."

A tight smile crossed Levi's face, and he removed his green cloak and draped it over Eren's torso. "You ripped your clothes to shreds."

"Oh."

Levi's grip on Eren's arms was tight, but not painful. He looked angry, but his anger seemed directed elsewhere. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" Eren struggled to push himself into a sitting position, but Levi held him down with little effort.

"Stop, just rest." He muttered, before raising his head and staring off into the distance. The forest was getting brighter as daylight creeped forward, and Eren wondered vaguely how long they'd been in the forest. His friends must be in a panic. "I should have realised what she was."

Eren sighed, lying back on the rough forest floor. Twigs and sticks poked into his bare back slightly painfully, but even his bones ached, and he was so weary that the pain barely registered. "Don't. If anyone should have noticed, it was me. I mean, _I'm_ the wolf, right? How could I not have _smelled_ her?"

"You're young, and she's skilled."

Eren looked up and met Levi's eyes. He looked exhausted, and Eren tentatively brought his hands up to trace underneath his eyes. In a move that surprised him, Levi leaned into the touch. "How long have we been in here?"

"Too long." Levi sighed, touching Eren's fingers with his own; his silver claws had been removed, revealing his long, slender fingers. "I was waiting on her to wake up." He jerked his head behind him, and Eren had to crane his neck in order to see over the smaller man's shoulder.  
Annie was unconscious, and chained to a tree. Her wounds had healed, but dried blood still clung to her naked skin and matted hair, and she was slumped heavily in a way that looked painful.

"Oh." Eren breathed, eyes wide. His fingers clenched around the material of Levi's travelling cloak. "So.. There's no cure, huh." It was a stupid thing to think about at a time like that, after barely escaping with his life, but Eren couldn't help the bone deep sense of disappointment that settled within him.

"Doesn't look like it." Levi frowned then, apparently bothered by something. "You can't really still want to be cured?"

"Why wouldn't I be? Didn't last night just prove I'm a monster?"

"For fuck's sake." Rubbing a knuckle into a tired eye, Levi sighed heavily. "You're not a monster, kid. If anything, _that's_ what last night proved. You think a monster would put themselves between danger like you did with me? I didn't fucking appreciate that, by the way." He added sharply, lowering his hand so he could glare at Eren. "I can take care of myself, and you nearly got yourself killed."

"I was scared." Eren blurted. "She was trying to kill you."

The stern expression on Levi's face softened marginally, and he nodded. "Yeah. Anyway, my point was that you shouldn't be ashamed of what you are. It's what you _do_ that matters."

"Profound." Eren muttered. A startled laugh escaped him as Levi flicked him hard in the head for his cheek. "Ow, hey!"

A pained grunt caused them both to fall silent. The smile on Eren's face slipped right off, and Levi's expression tensed immediately as he stood and helped Eren to his feet. Still blushing slightly, Eren wrapped the cloak around his shoulders; it barely reached the middle of his thighs, but at least it covered his junk.

By the tree, Annie was stirring. Her eyes blinked open, dull and watery and staring straight ahead. It seemed to take her a long time to focus, and an even longer time to realise her predicament. She eyed the chains binding her, and let out a pained wheeze of a laugh. "Silver, huh."

Eren wondered vaguely where Levi had managed to procure them, but resigned himself to simply being constantly mystified by the enigma of the small man. Levi was looking at her, face cold and closed off. "Silver." He agreed.

Annie tried to sit up, winced at the pain, and settled back to lean against the tree. Eren's own body twanged in sympathy, but he watched with a clenched jaw nonetheless. She stared up at the two of them. "I thought I was dead." She said softly.

"You were close to dead." Levi replied.

"You're good. Very skilled. I had hoped that I'd be a match for you, but.." She trailed off with a pained sigh. "I should have led you elsewhere. A cave, maybe-"

"You wouldn't have been a match with me in any location. Now tell me why you led us here in the first place," he leaned in, teeth bared and eyes molten silver, "before I slit your fucking throat."

Despite the circumstances, Annie had the gall to laugh. She laughed and laughed, her head thrown back against the trunk of the tree and shoulders shaking. After a while she quietened, although a grin marred her face. "Isn't it obvious? To destroy you."

"Me?" A flicker of confusion crossed Levi's face.

" _You_." Annie spat, disgusted. Her cool, careless charade had broken and splintered into a thousand pieces, and Eren wasn't sure how he ever looked at her and saw anything resembling indifference. "You're a difficult creature to lure out of your cave. I couldn't believe it when I heard that you were looking for a cure for lycanthropy."

"Does a cure exist?" Eren managed to force the question out without his voice trembling. His mouth was very dry.

"Of course not." Annie sneered, "lycanthropy isn't a _disease_."

Desperate, crushing disappointment hit Eren like a punch to the chest, and his shoulders slumped as he crumpled in on himself. He felt like a child, so young and immature and _stupid_ for being so gullible, so hopeful and blind. "But why?" he whispered. "Why would you do that?" He had been stupid, so unbelievably stupid. He should have known better than to hang his entire future around the hope of this cure. Even thinking about it made him feel sick to his stomach; everyone had told him that there was no cure for lycanthropy, that this cure must be a hoax. He had been so stubborn and foolish that he had ignored every well-meant warning given to him.

Annie ignored him for the most part, focusing on Levi. "The plan was to kill the kid." She watched how Levi's jaw tightened, and grinned that same manic grin from before. "You don't get close to anyone, ever. You keep yourself so distant. And then I found out that you were risking yourself by returning to the Wastelands just to help some little wolf pup just barely into adulthood? It was the best news I could have hoped for. I wanted to kill him. Slit his throat and let his blood soak into the forest floor and attract all the half-formed things in the night."

" _Why?_ " One of Levi's fingers were trembling, an almost imperceptible display of his anger. It seemed as though his fury was just barely being kept under the surface, but he remained standing tall (well, tall for Levi) and straight-backed.

"So you could feel what it feels like to lose someone you care about!" Annie's screech rent the air and caused dark shadows in the trees to shift uneasily, as if the forest was softly protesting the disruption. "So you could feel the empty, bone deep grief that comes with finding the torn up body of someone you love!"

_Love_. The word registered in Eren's head even through the confusion that had settled over him; why was that word coming up so often these days, when he'd never have considered it before? He thought of Levi, of how he had felt the night before when he saw Annie leaping for him with her claws sharp and cruel in the moonlight. The memory was entwined with feelings of animalistic fury and protectiveness, but underneath that was the purely human feeling of _no no no please don't hurt him anything but him_ , and pure panic. He glanced at Levi, taking in his pale skin and dark hair and confident righteousness and sharp features and eyes like thunderclouds, and he thought that even if it wasn't love now, perhaps it could be one day.

"What did I do to you?" Levi looked both frustrated and troubled as he loomed over Annie's prone figure.

"Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Fubar." The names were spoken with the familiarity and tenderness of old friends or lovers. When there was not so much as a flicker of recognition on Levi's face, Annie let out a wailing screech. "Don't pretend you don't recognise the names! You killed them!"

"Were they your kin?"

"They were more than that! You wouldn't understand." She looked away, and her profile was lit up by the rising sun. She looked like a statue, a work of art to be preserved forever. Out of place on the coarse floor of a dead forest in the Wastelands. "You deserve it, you know. You deserve the pain of seeing someone you love dead and bleeding on the ground in front of you."

Eren angrily opened his mouth, ready to snap at her for saying such an awful thing - Levi deserved nothing of the sort, he had done his best to help from the start, even if he had a terrible bedside manner - but Levi himself raised a finger, drawing him to a halt. Levi was watching her carefully, thoughtfully. After a moment, he crouched down until he was level with her. "Listen. I don't remember killing your friends. That's not to say I didn't do it, obviously. I might have. Who the fuck knows. I've killed a lot of people over the years. But I don't think I killed them. I don't usually make a habit of killing werewolves."

Annie's chest was rising and falling so rapidly that Eren wondered if it hurt to breathe so heavily. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears, but her face was set as stone. "You killed them." She said. "Out here in the Wastelands, where their bodies decayed and rotted and stank alone in the wild."

Sighing through his nose, Levi got back to his feet and turned to Eren. "Come on," he said quietly, beckoning him to follow. "We need to be getting back. Hopefully your idiot friends have survived the night."

Eren wasn't worried about his friends too much; they were all so strong and brave, especially Mikasa. Even Jean was to an extent, Eren supposed.

His feet were still clumsy from the change, and he stumbled a couple of times over the rough terrain. "What about Annie?" He asked, glancing back at her as the distance between them increased. The look in her eyes was not one he ever wanted to see again; the look of pure defeat, of a broken and shattered human soul.

Levi paused ahead of him and reached out to grab Eren's arm as he tripped. "Be careful, pup." He said, before sighing again. "We're leaving her there. She might get free or she might not, it all depends on her. I think she's exhausted her drive for revenge."  
They were silent for another few minutes as they walked. Levi seemed to know every exact turn, which Eren marvelled at - everything looked exactly the same, it was incredible to be able to navigate through the labyrinthine forest.

They hadn't gotten far when Annie's howl rent the air; the broken, lamenting howl of a dying animal. Eren had a feeling that sound would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Something thick and undefinable settled between them as they walked, fueled by Eren's nervous glances at Levi's face and his several failed attempts to speak. After a few more moments of this, Levi rolled his eyes and stopped walking. "Will you just spit out whatever is on your mind? You're slowing us down."

Eren swallowed and looked down at his feet. "Sorry. I was just - never mind. Let's go." He took a few steps, but was forced to turn back when Levi didn't budge an inch.

"I mean it, just spit it out."

"I was just thinking about what Annie said."

"I meant it when I said I don't think I killed her friends."

"No, not that." He could feel Levi's gaze on his face, but didn't raise his head. "Um.. The love part."

"Ah."

Neither of them said anything for a long moment. Eren drew the cloak tighter around himself, shivering slightly as a cool wind blew past his bare legs.

"We can talk about this later." Levi said at last, watching his shiver. "We need to get you some clothes."

Eren blushed slightly, but when he raised his head his eyes were clear and stubborn. "No. I want to talk about this now."

"Fucking hell, Jaeger." hissed Levi, narrowing his eyes to dangerous slits. "We're in the middle of the fucking Wastelands. We will talk about this _later_ , when it's actually safe-"

He had broken off midsentence, because Eren had decided to be recklessly impulsive and had pulled him into a kiss. It was awkward and didn't last long, but when they broke apart Eren's eyes were shining with adoration and awe, and Levi couldn't seem to find it within himself to scold him. He scowled. "Don't ever interrupt me when I'm speaking again."

Eren looked abruptly startled. "I'm sorry!"

"Come on, you stupid shit." Levi grumbled, taking him by the arm and leading him through the trees. "Your legs are fucking distracting me."


	9. Epilogue

It had been three months since Eren had last seen Levi. Three months since they had journeyed into the Wastelands, faced betrayal and emerged wounded and bloody. Three months since they had emerged from the forest and rejoined their group, starting the journey home. Three months of worried glances and reassurances, of trying to readjust and become used to the idea of being a lycanthrope, of accepting the fact that it was incurable. Three months since Levi had left and returned to his cave with the promise of seeking Eren out later.

It had been a difficult three months. Eren wouldn't have made it through them without his friends - Mikasa and Armin had been wholeheartedly supportive and caring when it came to his changes (three changes since they had returned from the Wastelands). They agreed (reluctantly) to chain him to the floor in the basement during the full moon, where he couldn't harm himself or anyone else. When he woke up in the middle of the night screaming, no one would say anything. They would hold his shaking body and whisper soft words, and wouldn't speak about it in the morning.

No one talked about what had happened in the forest. Eren hadn't said a word, but he had a feeling that Levi must have given his friends an idea of what had happened when he fell asleep in the cart on the journey home. Everyone seemed to know better than to bring up Annie, in any case.

But Levi had maintained radio silence ever since he had returned to his cave under the mountain. Eren tried not to feel hurt by it, but he felt the loss like a sharp shard in his chest, and found himself gazing up at the mountain whenever he was distracted. Mikasa had noticed, of course, but she never said anything other than "be patient, Eren", but patience had never been one of his strong suits. And then one day she had rolled her eyes and told him that he may as well go up there himself instead of staring at the mountain all day.

And so Eren did. The trip was as arduously long as he remembered, and the tunnel under the mountain just as narrow and damp and dark. Eren had forgotten how much he hated cramped spaces.

He tripped when he finally made it to the mouth of the tunnel, and ended up sprawling on his ass in the entrance to Levi's cave. His face flamed, and he whipped his head around in a panic to make sure no one had seen his fall. The cave seemed to be empty, and he relaxed slightly.

"Well, that was an entrance."

Eren flew to his feet and whirled around. Levi was standing in a corner, watching Eren with a raised eyebrow. His face was as pale and angular as Eren had remembered, and he let out a long breath as he stared at him. "Levi."

"Why are you here, Eren?"

Eren frowned, and tried to catch Levi's eye. Levi avoided his gaze. "I came looking for you."

"Why?"

"I- I wanted to talk to you."

"I haven't found a cure for your lycanthropy." Levi said, glaring at a spot beyond Eren's shoulder.

"That's not why I'm here." Pushing past his confusion, Eren stepped forward until he and Levi were almost touching. "I missed you."

Air blew out of Levi's nose in a sharp sigh, and he glanced away. "Eren, you don't know what you're talking about."

Annoyance flared up in Eren, bright and angry. "That's not true! I did miss you! I missed you so much, but you went and holed yourself back up under this mountain! I missed your face, and I missed the way you speak and how you pet my hair and yeah, you're kind of an asshole but fuck, I missed that too! And- and you said we'd talk about the.. the love thing.." Eren trailed off, his irritation fading away into confusion.

Levi's jaw had clenched during Eren's little tirade, and he swallowed hard. He was trying to look unruffled, Eren could tell, but there were cracks in his facade and Eren felt like he was looking right through it. "This isn't a good idea."

"Why wouldn't it be-"

"I'm not _good_ , Jaeger!" Levi snapped, before shaking his head and taking a deep breath. When he continued, his face was blank and his voice was carefully measured. "I'm not good. I'm greedy and violent and I grant wishes, but never give people what they actually want. I'm not good, and I'm especially not good for you. I can't stand it when you look at me like I'm some kind of hero, because I'm not. I'm a monster, just like the ones from the Wastelands that you hate so much-"

"You're not a monster!" Eren cried, horrified at the thought. "You're nothing like a monster! You're good and kind and thoughtful, you protected me and my friends in the Wastelands! Monsters don't do that. You're beautiful and smart and-"

"You don't _know_ me-"

"Let me, then! Let me get to know you instead of pushing me away!" Eren begged, grabbing Levi's hand and intertwining their fingers. He expected Levi to snatch his hand back, but he didn't. Their fingers slid over each other gently, and Eren marvelled at the contrast between Levi's pale flesh and his own tanned brown skin. "Is that why you've been hiding up here?"

"I haven't been _hiding_." Levi wrinkled his perfect nose as thought the idea personally offended him. "I've been.." He trailed off then, and finally raised his head to look Eren in the eyes. "I did kill them."

Eren had gotten completely distracted and lost in Levi's beautiful stormy eyes, admiring the elegant arches his eyebrows made and the dark contrast between his intense gaze and his soft voice. It took a moment for Levi's words to register. "What?"

"Annie. Her pack. I- I did kill them." Levi's voice was rough, as though he'd been swallowing sandpaper. "I remembered a few days after our return from the Wastelands. It was a few years ago. I had gone on a trip to the forest just before the Wastelands, searching for something for a customer. I came across their territory- it was almost the full moon, they were edgy, and they attacked. I-I killed them. They were only teenagers, barely of age, I- _fuck_."

"Hey." Eren squeezed Levi's thin pale hand and reached up to trace his fingers over Levi's frowning forehead. "Levi, I- it wasn't your fault."

"Of course it was my fault."

Eren tightened his hold on Levi as he tried to draw back. "Okay, well, it might be your fault. But.. you can't keep beating yourself up over it forever."

"They're not the only people I've killed, Eren. I deal in wishes, do you have any idea what's involved in that? I have more blood on my hands than you have in your entire body. I'm not kind, I'm not gentle, I'm not all those things you think I am. You shouldn't trust me, and you most definitely shouldn't _love_ me-"

"Stop." Eren took a deep breath and looked down. Their hands were linked loosely, hanging between them and swaying as if in a light breeze. "I.. I want you to come home with me."

"This is my home."

"Fine, I'll stay here then."

" _Eren_."

Frustrated, Eren huffed a sigh and leaned back. He hadn't expected Levi to be so cold and aloof, not after they had spent so long apart. The idea that Levi might not _want_ him had never even occurred to him - maybe he had been misreading everything from the start. Maybe he had just wanted to believe that Levi might love him too. "I-I'm sorry. I'll go." _Gods_ , he felt so _stupid_. Levi had probably been acting out of a sense of obligation this whole time.

“Wait, you absolute asshole.” Levi huffed, tightening his grip on Eren’s hand. “Stop jumping to conclusions. I just want you to _think_ for once in your life. Just think about this.”

Annoyed, Eren stepped close to him. “ _Think?_ That’s _all_ I’ve been doing since I got back to Shiganshina! I’ve been driving my friends crazy! And okay whatever, I get that you don’t think that what I’m feeling is love. I'm not sure it is either! My point is, if it’s not love now then it’s the potential to _be_ love. Won’t you at least give it a chance?”

“Fuck’s sake,” Levi rolled his eyes, but his fingers tightened around Eren’s, “Will you get easier to deal with?”

A smile broke out on Eren’s face, the relief and joy of Levi’s unspoken agreement getting the best of him, “Are you looking forward to finding out?”

Against all odds, Levi smiled back at him. It was the first time since Eren’s first change that he felt like things might, _just might_ , get better from here on in.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! any feedback is appreciated, or you can visit me at [erenyagers.tumblr.com](https://erenyagers.tumblr.com/)!


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